Zombies!!!

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I can’t take any more beautiful, tasteful, upscale, divine, sensational words in my paid job and need a bit of gore! This is a teaser for next week’s Walking Dead theme and regular addicts will know that this is the last time I can mention the Z word. I might talk about Roamers, Walkers or Lurkers but not the unmentionable. The Undead have fascinated me every since my crazy mum would frighten me with tales of Voodoo from when she visited Louisiana. She believed they were real but she also believed in fairies – enough said.

When I was young she would wait at the top of the stairs and then jump out at me snarling with witch fingers. She swears that I would beg her to do it. I do remember my Great Aunt Frances scaring me by taking her false teeth out and chasing me around the bedroom. Curiously, I love to hide behind doors and scare our poor elderly cats. Genetics are amazing aren’t they? I am howling with laughter as I write this with Addams family memories.

As a teenager, my best friend and I would go to see Zombie movies at the cinema. They weren’t as popular back then and one infamous occasion there was one showing at a seedy cinema called the Classic Grand – usually referred to as the Classic Gland because of the type of movies it showed. We naively thought we were just seeing the Zombie movie but it was the B movie. For young people reading this – in olde tymes you saw two movies at once with an interval in between.

The A movie started and it was a really bad but tame porn movie. Suddenly we noticed that we were the only women in the cinema and the men were all alone in different rows. It’s not a cliche – they were all wearing trench-coats that probably gave easy access to some fiddling about down there. They were getting a twofer because not only were there pretty young girls on the screen but there were two stupid but pretty girls giggling in front of them.

I don’t know if my friend still loves Zombie movies but this incident did not put me off and I love anything Undead…

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