Facebook is the work of the devil…

I have a Facebook account – it’s evil. This is my second one. The first one was in my current real name when Facebook was at its zenith. After two weeks I could feel a psychiatric break coming on and cancelled it. They sent me dire warnings that the sun would fall out of the sky, I would be flayed alive and that I would never, ever be able to have a Facebook account.

Beelzebub Mark Zuckerberg is running a dictatorial empire that would make Darth Vader blush. I really wanted to keep a Facebook account because I intended to write my book (check), create a blog (check) and use Facebook for marketing purposes. I sneakily created one in my maiden name. His malevolent algorithms hunted me down and Princess Leia was revealed again.

Why do I hate it so much? Do you want a list?

• Facebook users write mundane crap all the time
• Many use it to bully, boast or bore us to death
• Facebook tries very hard not to allow you to filter ‘friends’
• Facebook bullies the users into doing exactly what they say
• Users are afraid not to use it because the herd will reject them, they will miss    out on crucially important information and they can’t be nosy anymore.

Occasionally I confront people about their need for Facebook. Sometimes they are honest and say they are nosy – kudos for telling the truth. Others say that they need it for their business and that is the only acceptable answer. Yet more say that it helps them keep in touch with family, easily, and reach out to lost friends. My counter to that is – why are you so rude and lazy that you didn’t at least write a Christmas card to all your friends and relatives every year? I have kept in touch with friends from school, college, work and almost all the family that I know. That meant in pre-email times I had to – wait for it – get a pen and write a note or pick up the damn telephone.

Truthfully, there is a part of me that would really like to bask in schadenfreude and read the stupid posts. I know I am doomed for hell because I ask one of my good friends who is still on Facebook to tell me all the juicy faux pas. Sometimes she even forwards something appalling… I still think it was something the world would have been happier without. Most of us, even in the third world, have cellphone and email. A Google search usually finds someone you have lost or Ancestry for your family.

Do you think Beelzebub is going to litigate? Is this post slanderous? I bloody well hope so. 🙂

Bah Humbug…


39 thoughts on “Facebook is the work of the devil…

  1. I’m rather indifferent towards FB. I don’t hate it, I don’t love it … it just *is*.
    Maybe that’s because I prefer to spend time in the blogging world which is considerably more interesting and engaging.
    I’ve always maintained that I will take what works and leave the rest. FB is like a high school cafeteria at mid-day… lots of posing, posturing, hyerpole, etc.
    … and like high school, I scan for what interests me and leave the rest 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I understand your feelings. I have had similar. However, it is important as a presence for readers to contact and relate to you, and it is a useful means of keeping up with several friends and family in far-flung corners and grandchildren who are poor correspondents. I can keep an eye on them. 😉

    The thing is that it is too easy to get dragged into accepting and following ‘friends’ you don’t know, and spending a whole day watching videos and sharing memes. I spent a few hours yesterday ‘unfollowing’ people with whom I never have any contact other than sharing stuff they post. Not ‘unfriending’ them (stupid term!), because that would be an unfriendly move 🙂 but there just are not enough hours in the day to read all the things that these strangers post. Also I never quite understand why total strangers would want to be friends either. They obviously don’t know what a horrid person I am. 😀

    When people post tragic news it makes me uncomfortable. I understand that there are times when they may be in need of support and sympathy, but Facebook is so public, and I certainly would not want the world knowing all my problems. As they say, when you have bad news half the people don’t want to know, and the other half are glad. Having said that, there are also very supportive groups for people with specific problems, and for helping to find lost people and animals.

    There are also too many people who seem to lurk on fora waiting for an opportunity to pounce on somebody and start a fight. A LOT of that on Facebook.

    So it’s like the curate’s egg – good in parts.

    I’m in agreement with joannesisco: a blog is a far better and more personal way to engage with other people.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I have my tongue firmly in my cheek! Especially since I still have a Facebook account which will be expunged by Beelzebub forthwith. You and Joanne are both right and I was just taking an opportunity for a snarky swipe at FB! 🙂 Merry Christmas.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree 100% and I abhor Facebook and all of the banal crap that it hosts.
    I can categorically state I am only on it because of my Blog. I have a page of my own for people who know me and oaths page I only post WBFM material.
    I have a page for the WBFM and on that page it is ONLY WBFM.
    I do have a page for Archie the dog but again that only posts stuff on the walks that comes direct from my blog.
    Everything is geared and marketed to that one thing alone and I have little or no time for anything else on there. Yes I read sometimes and yes I share direct to people whom I think might be interested but I do not “Check In” and I do not post pictures of the colour of my pee or the size of my latest plate of food…!
    Rant over!!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I guess it’s a Marmite thing, you either… I personally don’t take FB too seriously or whatever people post on it, including myself. I have quite a few funny friends, so what they post often makes me smile and chuckle, I like reading political opinions and links to articles, I like watching my friends’ short films, I like the pictures people post from their travels or just yesterday a friend I didn’t even know could sing, posted a clip singing opera songs and traditional Iranian songs, it was wonderful. I’m happy for people if I read they succeeded at a job interview or got shortlisted for a comedy award but made sure I unfollow the humblebrags and ‘this-is-me-in-my-new-outfit/at-a-party’ people.
    Most people say they don’t like it but are actually on it, or just keeping a tab on what others are doing without ever posting or liking anything. It’s a strange world out there. Maybe because I’m relaxed about it, FB has brought positive things into my life, including connecting me with old friends, who I lost touch with and who found me there.
    But if you feel you need to stay away, than that’s probably a good idea, after all there are better places out there to meet and connect with people, including the real world 🙂
    have a wonderful xmas time,

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hmmmm. Well, I use FB to keep in touch with friends and family all over the world. I most definitely am not going to sit down and write a letter or send a card or talk on the phone to dozens of people in multiple time zones. That would never happen. I have nieces and nephews, in-laws, and friends who are busy and so a quick photo and update on FB is a great way to keep in touch. I’ve never felt bullied by FB or coerced into doing something by FB but maybe my experience is different than yours. I am sorry your experience was so bad with FB. That sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I originally signed up for FaceBook to stalk my second (and at the time extremely elusive) daughter. I have a page connected to my blog and a page for The Bean but in general I worry about it. I agree with every elequent and barbed word you have written but I still use it …. these days I am training myself to be far less engaged because I do honestly think it is addictive and I do honestly think it is dangerous.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I have no Facebook accounts. Facebook and Zuckerman can go to Hell (or the Pit of Bieber) for all I care. And they can take Tweeter and Instagram and Pinterest and the entire smartphone empire with them for all I care! Blogging is as social medialike as I get…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I ended up on Facebook by mistake. (Long story, wrote a post about it). I was at my computer and all of these people from my email list started sending me notes about how happy they were I’d finally joined Facebook. I didn’t know what was happening. So , long story short, I started unfriending everyone until my niece called me on the phone to ask if I’d finally lost it? (Finally?) She explained about “unfriending”, but I had already alienated almost everyone I knew. Now I’m blogging and since there’s no “unfriending thingy” in place yet, I’m making some new friends to take the place of all the people who will no longer speak to me. The End

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: A Pastor who walks in the footsteps of Christ | Postcards from Kerry

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