My heart is broken

stripe rip
Mrs. Stripe playing with mum in the dappled autumn sunlight.

Life has been very challenging recently and I hoped that three bad things were enough but not so. Last week we had to have our beloved Mrs. Stripe put to sleep at the veterinarians. I had mentioned previously in a post Mrs.Stripe and the pharmacy that she had severe muscle deterioration in her hind quarters which along with arthritis was causing her pain. On the last visit we shot her up with everything available and it was lovely to see her vibrant spirit emerge when she was pain free. The medication stopped working despite doubling the dosage and she was struggling to breathe through snuffling from an unrelated allergy problem that we could also not treat. Teddy and I talked about what we best, especially given that she was at least 15 years old and a feral street cat. We both agreed that we couldn’t bear to see her in pain and she finally made the decision for us.

I was sitting on the sofa, the night before we took her to the vet, and for the first time in her life she sat on a human’s knee. I looked at her in astonishment but she just settled down like she had always done it. The heat emanating from my knee must have soothed her poor little joints but I had no doubt that she was saying, “Please make the pain stop”. It was a sad day at the vets and almost all staff was in tears both at our sorrow and losing such a special patient. Even in her last days she played with her knitted catnip Spiderman, mewed plaintively for treats and even seemed to smile. She often made us smile see the post Resolution No 1 – wash more.

The house is in mourning and her daughter, Toffee, who is 13 years old, is wandering around the house crying. Zhenny, our other cat, has retreated into closets; occasionally giving us the odd cuddle but mostly biting us. We have euthanized many older pets but Mrs. Stripe was possibly my favorite. I became very mentally unwell when we moved to Egypt and when I caught glimpses of her in the garden it lighten my burden. She is probably half Egyptian Mau but has a bit of European Ginger which gave her fur the most gorgeous Titian highlights. She was exquisite and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I had no intention of looking after her until she had an injury. See my original post about our first meeting – Mrs. Stripe. Right to the very end of our posting in Cairo I wasn’t sure if she wanted to come with us – she was essentially a wild animal. One day she just made up her mind to stay in the house and we had to rush to get her neutered and vaccinated for the trip to America.

The veterinarian placed her in a beautiful blue shroud and we have buried in her beloved garden. Like most immigrants from third world countries, she loved her adopted new land and the odd new creatures she observed such as skunks and raccoons. She loved us and we will always love her. RIP Mrs. Stripe.

Mrs. Stripe's shroud on her favorite ottoman
Mrs. Stripe’s shroud on her favorite ottoman

75 thoughts on “My heart is broken

  1. I struggle to find the words, but suffice it to know I feel your pain. My heart is with you as I know yours will feel for me when the time comes for Vinny.
    Your friend, John

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Oh, how I feel for you, Kerry. I remember when I had my first cat put to sleep. The RSPCA was one side of Putney Bridge and I lived the other side. I used to joke that there was more water from my tears than under the bridge!

    Liked by 3 people

      1. We’ve never purchased a pet, but have been chosen by several. For instance, it took years to convince Mr. M to come inside, but now, he never wants to go out.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so terribly sorry to hear this, Kerry. Losing pets is such a hard time to go through. I hope you can take comfort knowing you gave her a great life, with love. Wishing you peace. Many hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So very sorry, Kerry. Try to take comfort from knowing that you gave her a wonderful life and she thrived with you. Glad you had the chance to give her a proper burial so that you can grieve too xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Sorry to hear about Mrs Stripe. She’s been a part of the family for a long time, and now the time has come to let go. In the night before, when she sat on your knee, I am pretty sure she sensed the end and wanted to say good-bye.

    Liked by 2 people

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