All the Texans will immediately know what bluebonnets are but for the rest of the world they are a small, indigenous Texan wildflower that grows prolifically on verges or prairie in the springtime. My first thought was that they looked like little Lupines (and they are). When we moved into our brand new house, 11 years ago, we were delighted that our township planted the verges along the walking paths with thousands of bluebonnets. I think the first year everything was fine – we loved looking at them. By the second year, locals and outsiders alike had discovered that they could take the annual Bluebonnet shot (grandchildren sitting in bluebonnets) just north of Houston instead of going into the hill country.
Our street was outraged because if you sit on them, you kill them and they won’t come up the following year. All you could see were sad little broken stems. In a large area, they seed easily so there is not such a problem. Not only that, we had PAID for them in our outrageously high rates! One quick thinking neighbor put out an adorable little sign that said –
PLEASE DON’T SIT ON US. BLUEBONNETS ARE VERY DELICATE AND WILL NOT GROW NEXT YEAR. THANK YOU FOR BEING CONSIDERATE.
My sign would have been more like this –
GET YOUR RED NECKED IGNORANT ASSES OFF MY BLUEBONNETS – REVENGE WILL BE MINE. F*** OFF BACK TO YOUR OWN NEIGHBORHOOD OR I WILL GET MY GUN.
On the lighter side, my friend and I hatched so many nefarious plots to get rid of them that it kept DESPICABLE US amused during the slow murder of our bluebonnets. Her plan was the most achievable – we dig up a nest of fire ants and put them in the middle of the verge. I wondered about getting some snakes from my reserve but they might have killed them too. Blow darts are always a consideration in my mind (native ancestry, perhaps?) but I don’t know how to get the poison delivered. Do you think Amazon delivers that kind of thing? I think what incensed me the most that they actually blocked our street with their stupid red neck family vehicles.
This is not a Disney story – there is no happy ending. Over a period of years they systematically killed our bluebonnets. Finally, to our relief, the township decided that it was more sensible to seed a variety of wildflowers which change every year. As much as I loved the bluebonnets, I am just as happy with poppies, Indian Blankets, Indian Paintbrushes and the ubiquitous but cheery pink and red poppies.
A welcome sight for sore eyes. I. Love. Flowers. 🌷
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Just plant poison ivy or poison oak in with the bonnets!
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Oh, we thought about that too. They were nefarious plots! 🙂
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Beautiful flowers. My first time viewing bluebonnets. They are wonderful
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They are a real pleasure until fat asses sit on them. 🙂
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LOL
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I live in the Texas hill country and love this time of year for all the amazing flowers! I can tell that the bluebonnets are starting to die off for the season, but I still admire all of the poppies and Indian paintbrushes! We have to enjoy them while they can until summer turns everything dead and brown 🙂
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We don’t really get so dead and brown in summer (except in drought conditions) because we are on the border of sub-tropical and piney woods zones. I will try and get some summer shots from our local arboretum for you to enjoy in summer. 🙂
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A sad tale. But are you not familiar with the Scottish song, “All the blue bonnets are over the Border”? They were never going to stick around.
BTW, I hope the poppies are legal.
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I am afraid the poppies are legal but watch out for my next funny tale about local plants. 🙂
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When my yard full of dandelions pops up, I’ll charge the super low price of $1 per child per picture for any takers who want a scenic photo of their spawn among my flowery paradise. That’ll keep all those pesky folks away from your fire ants, blow darts and poison ivy….
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I like the way you think, Evil! Dandelions are called Pee-the-bed in the UK because they can be made into a tea to make you urinate more. I could visit and offer free Dandelion shakes at your arboretum. Welcome to my despicable cadre. 🙂
PS could you train your squirrels to bite children?
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If I could do that, I could keep the little neighborhood imps out of my yard for good!
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LOL!
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And I will bet you ang the Happy Song whilst you plotted all of this very considered and measured revenge…. 😉
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We often plotted it at the local bar and the more we drank, the more despicable the plots became…happy days. 🙂
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I hear that!! Alcohol and outragiousness!!!
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🙂
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Yep, I’d be right alongside you Kerry in running them out of town. Like them that think ‘Don’t feed the ducks’ doesn’t apply to them because they have kids to amuse 😦
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LOL! I don’t have a gun, of course, but my vitriolic Celtic tongue chased a few felons away…
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I’m sure that Amazon must deliver the poison for darts – didn’t they originate in the Amazon? You made me laugh and reminded me of the ‘revenge’ plots I used to fantasise about when I rode motor bikes … car drivers don’t give a toss. Hat pin protruding from handle bars to scrape their ducco, a brick through the back window, kidnapping a kid out the open window, etc. Would never do any of the above but it did help to plot and laugh.
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You must be right about Amazon! Plotting dastardly deeds is as much fun as watching cartoons with Wily Coyote!
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👍☺
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