The TV scolded me…

Retro TV

Bloody TV!

As many of my lovely followers know, I have a Scottish accent, although I was born in California and am AMERICAN! I work at an airport and am driven to distraction by all the comments about my accent. One Chinese gentleman, with a very thick accent, asked me to speak English….I kept smiling but inside I had jumped over the counter and done a ‘Jackie Chan’ move on him. Mostly, it is all to my advantage, with many, many propositions (some of them are from young, handsome men – the rest I won’t speak about). Unbelievably, I am understood better in Spanish where at least they pronounce their vowels properly. I have to make stupid YMCA signage to show an A or an E, smiling all the time…

Most people think I am Irish (almost right), Swedish (Ya, I can accept that), Australian (really?) or occasionally English (do you want a slap?). Starbucks is a nightmare, unless it is at my place of work, and then everyone knows I like a Vente Skinny Latte (I also have a name badge). At strange Starbucks my coffee can be labeled Kirsty, Katie, Carrie, Kumbaya – anything but Kerry and I still SPELL IT OUT. For some unknown reason Teddy, my husband, decided that we need the new voice recognition remote for our Xfinity system. It can’t understand a bloody thing I say.

The final, hilarious straw came yesterday when we were looking for new series that we had missed On Demand. We had enjoyed watching the last series of The Ship, so I pick up the remote and say “The Ship”. Up comes, “The S***” – Big Brother can’t have misunderstood cuss words on the TV! I started laughing and tried again – same answer. Finally, on the third attempt, the TV said, “Sorry, I don’t handle demands with that type of language. Try again”. WTF!! I was swearing like a sailor while uncontrollably laughing. The only way it would understand me was if I imitated a thick East Texan accent.

This is a link to a hilarious sketch by two Scottish comedians who are in a voice recognition elevator or lift. (Click on the red) You might not understand all of the words but I think you will get the gist and feel a little of my pain. All the Scots I know in Texas just have to say the word “Eleven” and we all fall about laughing. On our recent break to Tampa the fancy elevators, in the Grand Hyatt Hotel, had a Scottish accent. Every time it said “Going Down” I felt I was being propositioned by a Scottish call girl. I hope there were no cameras in the elevator because Teddy and I were being very rude about it. Not that it matters, they wouldn’t understand us anyway!

This is a link to my very well enunciated accent. Kerry chatting.

Advertisements

45 thoughts on “The TV scolded me…

  1. I can totally relate with my fairly heavy Russian accent. Thick or heavy? I was born & raised in what was Soviet Union back then, and now is Ukraine. Still didn’t lose my accent completely. When my kids speak Russian, they do so with an American accent LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOL, this is so very funny! It reminded me of many years ago I worked for an airline. One day I was provisioning the plane with refreshments. I asked the flight attendant if she needed ice. She said what? I said do you need some ice. She just looked at me. After awhile we laughed because she thought I was asking her if she needed some ass. When I say ICE, it sounds like ASS. Anyway, concerning the elevator, naughty girl! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Haha! The elevator clip was hysterical! My grandmother was from Belfast… growing up whenever I had friends over while Nanny was visiting she’d chat with everyone, and without fail my friends would turn to me and ask, “What did she say?” To be honest, I never heard her accent, even today I find it very hard to “hear” a Belfast accent. PS- I understood you perfectly in your video!

    Liked by 2 people

    • The weirdest thing is that they can understand my husband who mumbles everything. I think it is because I enunciate properly. 🙂 We have another elevator in our little city that has an English Estuary accent – always unnerves me.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I love a Scottish accent, claim lots of Scottish heritage even though I wasn’t born there and have just had a wonderful few days in Edinburgh which ruptured my Englishness nicely. I have to own up though that I had a game when I worked for the UKAEA and that was to call the Dounreay switchboard and when they answered UKAEA I would say ‘sorry – what did you say’ Try spelling it out slowly and ponderously with a broad Thurso accent … it comes out UKEEEEYEEAY or more often Ukelele 😀 Keep being who you are and swat the chinaman if he ever returns!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Even I struggle with a Thurso accent…LOL! I loved the way they slightly lisped the letter S in Thurso, as if they were still translating from the Gaelic. It is so strange on WordPress when we finally hear someone’s voice – it is as if all the pieces fall together. K x

    Like

  6. I love your accent, which sounds like a delightful blend of Scottish, Irish and American accents. I speak with mostly a Canadian accent, but after having spent over a decade outside of Canada (over 6 years in England), I’ve been told that my accent is not fully Canadian (eg. I stopped doing ‘Canadian raising’ – look up the ‘out and about’ phenomenon if you’re interested). Your post is bloody brilliant – it certainly made me laugh out loud!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s