Quirky Kerry Ramblings

Alabama squirrel aka Kerry

I went to my psychiatrist for a regular appointment last week.  First, he asked what was wrong with me when I thought I felt more like myself (quiet and introspective), then I misheard him suggesting that it might be the Phage.  My head immediately went to Star Trek Voyager where the Phage was a recurring story line of an alien disease.  Their skin starts to rot and I immediately thought about my red scarred zit on my forehead.  Reality returned and I asked him to explain (do you understand why I see a psychiatrist now?)  He was referring to the seasons changing at the autumnal equinox.  That might explain why I kept waking up at odd hours and felt out of sorts.  There are all sorts of clinical evidence theorizing that we do react emotionally to full moons and changing seasons.  Seasonal Affective disorder is very common in Northern Europe.

Can you tell that my mind is hopping about like a squirrel on caffeine?  I keep trying to focus on tasks but failing miserably – my head is full of pumpkin puree.  So here are my current ramblings about my life:  –

Why are my fashion posts the most popular? I love doing them and really appreciate the interest but I am 58 and really past my sell-by-date.  My elegant modeling mum always wore tasteful neutrals with a splash of vivid red or blue.  Quite naturally I wanted to look the complete opposite.  Punk was emerging and I was determined to look like Blondie, dyeing my dark hair blonde and dressing very provocatively.  Then I had a ‘wholesome’ period and then I got fat.  It wasn’t until my mum had died and I was in my 40’s before I found my own style.  Before that I hated having my photograph taken – how times change!

Why do I have so many gay boyfriends? Why are they all better looking than any straight boyfriend in the past??  I come from a conservatively religious background and it wasn’t okay to be gay.  Despite that, one of my aunts was undoubtedly gay but stayed in the closet to her family.  She kept introducing me to her girlfriends and I still didn’t get it…  I really don’t judge people for their sexuality and perhaps that is obvious.  I cherish the close relationship with a gay man without the complication of desire and can flirt outrageously without consequence.  At college, I made an assumption that a man with some feminine attributes was gay, made him my best friend and ultimately broke his heart.

I have been head hunted by three new companies in the last two weeks. This is at a time in my life when I would like to ‘chill’ and keep my anxiety levels down.  I am delighted, of course, but surprised (especially by one VP who recommended me – I didn’t think he liked me).  My first diploma was in business with a focus on travel and tourism.  Most of my career was spent working for non-profit organizations but now I work for DMCs – Destination Management Companies.  Who would have thought that my quirky personality would work in my favor?  It is an over-used word but I am a nice person and that goes a long way when you work with clients.

My sole piece of art is on the dark web – just jesting. 😈 I can’t post a link because it is a private site…  My friend Rob has a beautiful body that he likes to post naked.  One of his followers did a beautiful charcoal sketch from his nude photo and this so impressed me that I processed it photographically as an ink sketch.  Rob then asked me to process a different nude photograph which he sent me by email.  In case you are wondering, I did tell Teddy and showed him my artwork.  He rolled his eyes…  The odd thing is that there is nothing sexual about our friendship – Rob is young, handsome and straight.  Beyond that he is a really lovely guy whose personality and writing clicks with mine.  I make lots of cougar jokes but even I have a limit – he has to be at least 45 years old. 😁

My current best writing is fairy stories. I have invented a Texas School of Fairies, situated in Austin but no pun intended…  My mum had many beautiful qualities but the one I remember most is that she would make up a new story for me every night.  It always included a little girl called Kerry and animals and fairies and elves – you get the picture.  It was a special moment because she worked long hours and Nana did most of the caretaking.  I don’t have children but I would savor reading stories to them at night.  As an only child, my head was always in story books and I read the library dry.

My longing to travel has left me, along with the desire to write travelogues. I can’t quite figure out why.  I have retreated from friendships and groups, rarely socializing.  For a while I was depressed but now I feel reasonably settled.  My personality is still the same but even my psychiatrist noticed a difference in my behavior.  In some ways I have gone back to my childhood; solitary but content.  If I get anxious, I can still talk too much but it is lessening.  I share more with Katniss and Toffee than anyone else!  No doubt this is another phase in my life but momentarily I am enjoying the quiet.

Rambling over, until the next fashion post…


54 thoughts on “Quirky Kerry Ramblings

  1. Now how do I respond to that, other than to say that now you have to share your artwork here👍 A Trekkie….hmmm….. short blonde hair….you are 7 of 9. And you’d better keep posting fashion. Everyone knows sexy female borg have no expiration dates. 😍😍

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Great post Kerry. We go thru many phases in our lives and special interests that can change with time. All that is good. That’s life and it keeps us moving forward, but with temporary ups and downs or setbacks along the way. All this is healthy and it is what makes us stronger in the long run.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I am first on the list to like you because there is no love button lol. I enjoy your blog whatever subject there is always a smile on my face. If you want to check out a good site check Micheal Stokes site and you will be tongue hanging out maybe. Maybe they won’t be your type. Hope you are having a wonderful day and for me I am moving back home out west on Vancouver Island in Canada and I am tickled pink. Nothing can ruin my day.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I knew we had a lot in common already, Kerry, but a Trekkie too?! That’s more than awesome! 😄 I always wanted to look like Deanna Troi or Jadzia Fax or Seven of Nine – but no chance! 😂
    And I made the same assumption of a guy during school – I really thought he was gay and we were just friends, ah well… 😅

    Liked by 4 people

      • Aww – thank you, Kerry! Well, I´ve got quite a lot of spots though they´re not as prettily arranged as hers. 😉 And I always liked Kea a lot! She was always so calm and serene, totally unlike me! And those ears are just great! And think of all her super-powers! Wouldn’t that be quite something to have? 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • I am afraid I have some of those super powers. Recently, I knew my uncle overseas had cancer before the diagnosis. Then over the last few weeks, I had a recurring dream about a work situation from 15 years ago. Feeling some psychic angst I called an friend (and colleague) in the UK, and there really was a major problem. She was trying to figure out how to tell me so we talked for 2 hours. No more dreams and we both feel better.
        On a funny note, years ago there was a Star Trek bar in Las Vegas. Teddy had his photograph taken with a huge Klingon lady who growled at him. I don’t think I have ever seen him so happy!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Wow! That sounds both awesome but also a bit scary. I truly believe that our brains/souls/whatever are somehow connected to the ones we care for and that distance doesn’t matter.
        And Klingons are so cool!! I always was a bit smitten by Worf. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Kerry of 9: Soooo much in this post to have fun with- Love the Trekkie references and the boyfriend references, but don’t forget your straight boyfriends….like the married taxi driver in Mexico (and the posting drama afterwards). So much to make me laugh, bummed that you are out of your travel stage, I liked your travelogues- Keep posting; at least till the PHAGE eats your skin-

    Liked by 1 person

    • LOL! My psychiatrist seems just as fascinated – I don’t think he has fully decided on a diagnosis after 14 years. 😵 I have written a new fairy story, for another friend’s birthday, and I think you will like this one. K x

      Liked by 1 person

      • I can’t believe your psychiatrist still hasn’t fully decided on a diagnosis after a decade and a half! Eres una mujer muy complicada. 🙂 Yay, I’m going to read your new fairy story now.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Mental health is still an evolving science. Eventually I see a way forward with personally designed DNA treatment. The diagnosis is always a wavy line and often changes as we do. I think he has been amazing to keep me as healthy as he has for so long and the current official diagnosis is anxiety and depression. Occasionally I get elevated moods but is that quirky personality or a little mania? I live for that halfway house between contentedness and excitement (and so do all my friends and family). Si, muy complicada!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: Invisible – For friends without borders

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