No filter, no makeup, just Kerry

Until I moved to the USA, I had no idea that some people did not believe in the concept of evolution.  Charles Darwin and some brave predecessors deciphered the basic tenets of evolution despite wide dissent.  His book ‘On the Origin of Species’ was a masterpiece although undoubtedly flawed.  As more fossils of every species are uncovered our knowledge changes and develops. The virus Covid-19 is a master of change, evolution and mutation.  The sadness of a pandemic is that we are all affected – two members of my family have died from Covid-19.  One was 22 years old.

With intolerable mass shootings in the States and rising violence throughout the world, one can see that the effects of the Pandemic ripple out.  A tsunami is barely noticeable at sea until it hits the shore with devastating results.  Not everything about ‘now’ is negative.  Most of us have stopped and smelled the flowers.  Our gardens or plant pots are better cared for than they ever were.  Our pets and garden animals are subject to our endless gazes or affection.

Quarantine started at a pivotal time in my life.  Last year I turned 60 years old; officially becoming a senior. My husband is retiring this month and our lives will turn a new corner.  I doubt I would have paid much attention to sexagenarian status without the Pandemic.  In my denial, there would have been endless fashion posts, new makeup and exciting hair colors.  Instead, we all slumped into loungewear and natural skin.  At first that felt great but now it is boring yet comfortable.

I have a mild form of body dysmorphia and rarely see the truth in the mirror.  Curiously, when I was obese, I thought I looked fine and now I always want to be slimmer/younger/prettier.  I am not alone, supermodel Pauline Porizkova recently stated that she was somewhere between Jennifer Lopez and Betty White; referencing the invisibility that older women feel.  What is wrong with ageing?  It should be something we aspire to but modern society is consumed by the idea of eternal youth.

It doesn’t help that this last year has made most of us look a little older; the stress shows in our furrowed brows.  A smile would change our visage but it is masked.  Now we look out for crinkling around the eyes to see that someone is smiling at us.  In this new thoughtful phase of my personal evolution, I am beginning to accept that I am an attractive older woman.  Young men won’t whistle anymore but I get appreciative glances from older men who also feel sad about ageing.  My mother was a beautiful woman who aged gracefully.  A neighbor once made the cruelest comment to me referencing my mother, “Isn’t it sad when beautiful women age?”

My personal evolution is deeper than that.  I mentioned in the previous post, Change is Inevitable, that I didn’t like what I saw behind my eyes.  If you asked a friend to describe me, the words kind and funny might be said.  During self reflection during sequestration the following words seemed more apt.  Impatient, testy, judgmental, insular, anti-social, fussy, undeviating and unkind.  Was I a good manager or am I inflexible?  Am I a good friend or wife?  Not always.  I could blame my mental illness for some negative elements of my personality but that is disingenuous.  In my life, I have met so many mentally ill people who were adorable, the opposite or somewhere betwixt.

Prior to the pandemic, I worked, volunteered and was social.  When we first moved overseas, I made a huge effort to be social and get involved with my community.  This continued with the move to Texas but it is not my natural self.  I struggle with small talk, coffee mornings or girl’s nights out.  WordPress has been a source of comfort for me to meet like-minded people.  Quarantine gave me the perfect excuse to retreat to my nest with my bonded mate and I know how lucky we are.  So, what is the outcome of this reflection?  I am going to try to be a better person to everyone I know.  My base personality will remain the same but I can be thoughtful, gentler, compassionate and sweeter.  My evolution has not finished and wouldn’t life be dull if it did?

This is a Pizzly Bear (courtesy of BBC)

Climate change is affecting all species, in particular the Polar Bear. As the world warms, Grizzly Bears are moving further north and interacting with Polar Bears. In a wonderful turn of events, they are interbreeding and their hybrid cubs are fertile. They are the same species but one is brown and the other white. All of homo sapiens were brown before the diaspora from Africa. Those who went furthest north developed fair skin, over generations, to allow their skin to access essential Vitamin D from the weaker sun’s rays. You could describe this as a mutation or evolution. I identify with the Pizzly Bear, we are both of mixed race, have wrinkles and we are BEAUTIFUL!

30 thoughts on “Evolving

  1. “All of homo sapiens were brown before the diaspora from Africa.” Which really makes the idea of indigenous peoples a bit overstated. The only indigenous peoples were really from East Africa (Rift Valley or Kenya?) We’re all invaders. 😀

    Did you read that Pfizer now says we’ll need a 3rd shot next year?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m like you Kerry. Nice skin without many wrinkles. I get it from my mother who at 91 has porcelain skin and the tiniest little line in the corner of her mouth and eyes. She drank from the fountain of youth I tell you. Yes we all evolve we have no choice. We either evolve or we get left behind. Yes, covid has made some more reflective but as you say the violence is on the rise, as well as suicides, wife and child battering. Sad it should be pulling us much closer. Considering you are trying to be a nicer person shower me with compliments lmao. Please don’t I’m ok

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    • Thank you so much, Peggy. It made my heart sing when I read about Pizzlies or Grolars. They have bred in captivity but they didn’t realize they would do so in the wild. One female Polar bear had two Pizzly cubs with two different male Grizzlies. You go girl!

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I very much enjoyed reading your post, Kerry! Aging gracefully shouldn’t be about trying to look like a 20-something — but about living your best life and having the physical and mental health to enjoy it. Aging is inevitable and learning to embrace it can make all the difference. Thanks for sharing and have a good day. Sending you lots of love and virtual hugs from the sunny Sligo. Aiva 🙂 xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Aiva. The silver lining, if there is one, from the Pandemic is that we have relaxed how we look. There is no point in wearing makeup under a mask. I am sure my embrace of ageing will be a wavy line…
      Have a lovely weekend in sunny Sligo with love from dark, stormy Texas! 🤠

      Liked by 1 person

  4. The Pizzly bear is a great discovery – I had not heard that! Although I haven’t given up on some small bit of makeup and hair color, I am accepting who I am these days, as I turn 70 next month. I keep thinking I must be doing the math wrong, how could that be? I feel the same in my brain, a little less energy these days and some aches, but my older life fits and feels good. We are all constantly evolving. Mostly for the better. As always, enjoyed your posts.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. What a thoughtful and reflective post. I am helping a 93-year-old woman write her memoirs. She was a beauty when younger and she is surrounded by pictures of her extended family all of whom are physically attractive. But Barbara’s beauty is in her personality and amazingly kind character, quite the loveliest woman I’ve met. And she’s happily lined up the very spot where she is to be buried, alongside a number of her family.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much, Roy. Curiously, I have been thinking about ghost writing, too. Barbara sounds like a wonderful lady. You have to be beautiful inside and out for people to truly notice.
      I would like a Viking ceremony on a wee boat. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

    • The pizzly or grolar bears just made me happy. Subconsciously, I have been grieving the loss of habitat for polar bears and so many other species. I suppose it is not dissimilar to many of us have Neanderthal DNA. They live on in many of us.

      Liked by 1 person

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