The Un-Woke Series – Texting

Please take this series with a pinch of salt and a titter of laughter…

I don’t like texting.  There, I’ve said it!  Everybody texts these days but I just can’t get used to the brevity of communication.  One girl friend texted, “Hey, girl!”  How do you respond to that and what does it mean??  I know I am incredibly aged and I can prove it – I really liked memoranda and I can write shorthand.  To be fair, I do use texts for contract work and in that fast-paced environment, texts really work. “New ETA for passenger?”, for example.  I still remember sitting in my cold hallway on the fixed landline phone, chatting for an hour to a friend.  In old American movies the phone cords were so long that you could move to another room.

Now I have to go to the grocery store to have a decent conversation.

Maria – “Hey!  How are you?”

Kerry – “Good, good.  How are you?”

Maria – “Great!  Do you have your loyalty card?”

Kerry – “Dang it!  I left it at home”.

Maria – “No problem.  Are these new popsicles good?”

Kerry – “They are SO good and low in calories”.

Maria – “That will be (far too many) dollars, please”.

Kerry – “Thank you so much and have a good day!”

Maria – “See you soon”.

Sometimes I have a three way with the bagging clerk.

Kerry – “How are you, Michael?”

Michael – “I’m FAN FAN FAN FANTASTIC!”

We all laugh.  He has been saying that every day for the last 15 years of more.

I still like emails.  You can write full, grammatically correct, sentences and not sound terse.  At college we were taught that a memorandum was meant to be brief but not rude.  An email is much the same.  An emoticon doesn’t say, “I really miss you and our time together” or “Do you remember when we went to the Wallace Monument?”  Teddy also likes to chat and amazes me that we still talk together about meaningful topics on a daily basis.

Teddy – “What is that idiot talking about!” pointing at the politician on the news.  That provokes a stimulating conversation about the world today that marks us as ‘very old people’.  Recently he snagged a bargain at the thrift store – it is a device to scan your negatives and old photos.  Now we can throw out our stinky old photo albums that are moldy and degraded.

Some conversations are so much better in person.

Teddy – “Whoa!  You were a bit of a chunky monkey in Lisbon.  What year was that?”  I went through to his study to give him a slap but then said, “Jeez Louise, did I look like that?”

Teddy – “Do you recognize this castle (in Scotland)?”  That provoked a back and forth about which of the many castles it was.  Finally, we Googled it and it was Glamis Castle which was the late Queen Mother’s ancestral home.  More importantly, Teddy’s mum performed a Highland dance at the Castle, in front of the Queen, when she was a wee lass.

To be honest the only type of texting that appeals to me is sexting.  You can say so much with just a few words. ‘Come get me, big boy’ or ‘Chase Me’.  On a very cute nostalgic note, I was madly in lust with a boy with an Australian accent in our high school.  We had no telephone in our house – alcohol is so expensive…  My friend in the next street asked me across to her house so that we could phone two boys (the Aussie included).  The excitement was tangible.  We were half way up the stairs, just like Kermit, giggling on the phone.  Then the recipient of my lust sang to me across the telephone line.

“Are the stars out tonight?  I don’t know if it’s cloudy or bright. I only have eyes for you, dear….”  I had goosebumps – he fancied me too!  I wish I could say it was my husband of 40 years but it was a ‘Brief Encounter’ on the list of many boyfriends.  The Aussie formally asked me out, taught me all sorts of Antipodean phrases, also taught me how to French Kiss and then unceremoniously dumped me!!  I know – he dumped ME!  I could have dumped him by text, ‘Go Walkabout, Drongo.’

32 thoughts on “The Un-Woke Series – Texting

  1. I also hate to text, especially since I can only do it with one finger and it takes me forever to type a coherent sentence. But I have noticed that more and more people won’t even be checking their e-mail, or they check it, but never respond. I guess it takes too much time out of their busy schedules. We have created a hellish scenario in which people are too busy to stay in touch with old friends in the real world because they have to keep up with the latest unnecessary and vapid fluff in the virtual world.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I quite often prefer texting over calling someone directly on the phone, because I feel I’m less intruding. A text message, like an email, can be read and answered at leisure. And I can also think better what I’m saying. I have a chance to revise my words before they reach the recipient.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m like you. I don’t like texting I like sexting lol Nah! The older I get the more I find myself withdrawing from social media. I deleted all my friends and families who I have not heard from in 6 months. I figured if they can’t say hello once in a while then I can’t be bothered always me to make the social gestures. I’m thinking of pulling the plug on Facebook known as meta now. I don’t watch the tele. I have news channel on my phone to keep connected to the world. A timely post. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yeah nah Kerry. G’day. Such a spesh post. UR so gd at writing. Chunky monkey made me 😂 but strewth I rekn Teddy cld b a bit of a drongo at times. Us Aussie lads no a bit bout 😘 n stuff. That bloke didn’t no wot he missd out on did he. Luv Art Garfunkel n that song. Catch ya round luv 😁😁

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Enjoyed your post. I get it! I much prefer in person or calling. I’ll use texting for a quick speedy imparting of a piece of information but I’d much rather talk to someone. I prefer face to face talking as there can be miscommunication over text and email as a message can be softened by a smile a gesture a nod.
    It drives me crazy when I have to organise gazillion things having to email back n forth for days and await replies(many of which the response shows the person only read the first line of the email!)
    If not in person, by phone. Have to admit most of my car journeys are made bearable by calling my usual list of friends and family for a chat.
    I do think it’s an age thing though as my grandchildren text most times😂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh, those young loves! There are some, not just younger people, that only communicate by text these days, so I have gotten with the program. You just have to know who likes to talk on the phone, who emails, who texts!

    Liked by 1 person

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