Best Birthday Gift Ever!!!

My birthday and our 40th wedding anniversary are this week – I have Covid-19.  About three weeks ago, I started coughing and took a negative test. “It’s the excessive heat or allergies,” I thought.  A week later I was watering the garden when I became really breathless so I made a Saturday morning appointment at the doctors.  He asked if I was anxious but said it in a kind way.  All my medical information tells doctors that my primary illness is anxiety so it is reasonable to ask.  In my mind my files are stamped with ‘DON’T BELIEVE ANYTHING SHE SAYS!!!!’  ‘CRAZY OLDER LADY WITH WEIRD ACCENT’ ‘SHE’S AWAY WITH THE FAIRIES’ ‘DANGER, DANGER!!!’.  He was very thorough given my ‘cyst in the lungs’ history, gave me another negative test for Covid and chest X-rays.  I haven’t seen a pulmonologist since my last one died of Covid during the worst of the Pandemic but the GP urged me to find a new one.

I left thinking it was all in my head – ‘bloody anxiety is the bane of my life’.  Teddy and I went off to Galveston for a couple of days and I felt good.  The sight and smell of the sea was heaven.  When we came back, I decided to book a little trip to one of the Great Lakes (cooler, more water, less tourists) for the anniversary/birthday combo.  The bag was packed instantly and for once I was excited.  Then I got anxious…we are having a drought and every day is over 100 F.  My sprinkler system has not worked for 2 years because I had nothing else to do but hose the garden.  What will happen to my little critters who rely on the various water bowls?  For some reason the birds prefer the blue bowl on the ground and the squirrels love the bird bath to drink out of.  A friend kindly offered to water the garden/critters but using my very sweet voice, I asked the sprinkler guy if he could fit me in – he could!  All problems solved…

We always book at the last minute because of my rapidly changing moods.  The flights could be cancelled but I hovered over paying $70 more for the hotel for last minute cancellation.  Teddy said, “Why would we cancel at this stage?” so I booked the non-refundable option…  This will now become part of the saga of our marriage and brought up every time I am annoyed on vacation.  Then the diarrhea started which was exacerbated by the hacking cough with almost disastrous results.  My nose was running into my coffee, my mask and the food I was preparing.  Then there was a message from the Saturday doctor – there was evidence of emphysema on my chest X-ray.  Really??  Time to take another stupid Covid test which was finally positive.

The hotel allowed us to book another date and the flights were cancelled.  God laughs at our plan, eh? On our 30th anniversary we had to cancel a trip to Panama because Teddy’s Dad had the temerity to die so inconveniently. I got sicker with Covid but the worst symptoms are abating.  I was fully vaccinated with 2 boosters but worked at the airport.  At least I don’t have Monkeypox.  Now Teddy is getting ill.  Nurse Ratched has appeared and he may as well be Patient Zero or Typhoid Teddy.  Is grumpiness part of Covid?  He has just sloped off to bed because he feels weak.  My response was ‘Good’ doublespeak for ‘Get out of my sight’.  Then we got an alert because we used 500 gallons more water than usual when the sprinklers started so I am back to hosing and misting.

Last night I cooked chicken marinated in white wine, lemon and oregano along with spiced couscous with sour cherries.  It just tasted like small white food with bigger white food.  My hair is standing on end with all the sweating and sleeping so I took a shower last night.  As I was drying off, I spotted a small cockroach fall out of my towel and skitter under my bed.  My OCD brain struggled to compete with Covid brain.  Previously a KLAXON warning would have gone off; I would have bathed in a light solution of bleach (joking DO NOT DO THIS), sprayed insecticide under the bed, washed the carpets, changed the sheets and had a small breakdown.  Covid brain won.  I just washed the towels and went to my unwashed bed with my new pet slumbering beneath me.



73 thoughts on “Best Birthday Gift Ever!!!

  1. Is it bad that I laughed at this: “my new pet slumbering beneath me.”?
    I hoping you and Teddy are getting better and better. I am sorry about the canceled trip. I hope you guys can make it up very soon!
    Happy birthday and happy anniversary!!

    Liked by 4 people

  2. I don’t know whether to cry or smile with you, Kerry, because even in your illness and malaise you are trying to make us laugh. If it’s any comfort, you succeeded!
    Wishing you and Terry a complete recovery–and soon.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. Hi Kerry. Hope you’re both okay. Covid is rampant everywhere. I went to Cyprus and caught it day 2! I was outdoors every day anyway. Just stayed away from everyone.
    Absolutely knackered.
    I’m over it now but second time off work this year. Second time covid🫣
    Hope you have a lovely second attempt at birthday and anniversary ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

  4. Happy birthday fellow Cancerian 🎂🥂 What a trial you have been going through but I am proud you have managed to hold it together quite well. Hope all gors OK and you both are on the road to recovery so you can get on the road again 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  5. You win the prize for the funniest, most entertaining piece written by someone with Covid brain!

    “It just tasted like small white food with bigger white food.” That almost made me choke on my drink. Maybe you can feed the leftovers to your new pet under the bed. 😂

    Glad you’re on the mend, Kerry. Hope Teddy gets well soon!

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Kerry, you may not realize how you revealed the secret to a happy marriage. Love & Laughter. Some people celebrate birthdays all year long, so make it special for you when you’re feeling better. Happy Birthday & Blessings on your Anniversary! 💕🍃🌸

    Liked by 4 people

    • I used BinaxNow, for the first and third test, but don’t know what the doctor used for the second test. On reading about the current variant, it might have been detected quicker with a throat swab because coughing was the worst symptom. Now I have the free government ones by Siemens but I think they are pretty much the same. Thank you for your good wishes – feeling much better with some lingering issues. Glad I was fully boosted.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Happy (very belated) birthday. Sorry you got sick. You’ve been through a lot. I have anxiety, too. People just write us anxious people off as worrywarts, but the anxiety is so much deeper than just worrying. It permeates and colors everything you think and perceive, to the point it can be difficult to rationalize things properly and cope as a typical person would. I hope you’ve recovered and resumed some normalcy and peace in your life.

    And I enjoy your style of writing. The way you wrote — I feel like I’m experiencing the events you retell as if they’re happening to me. Your prose is compelling.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh gosh – what a lovely compliment and I thank you! “It permeates and colors everything you think and perceive” is a such an eloquent way of describing an illness that is often ignored as a feeling. We all feel anxious sometimes but not all of us have a clinical diagnosis. I have just returned from a recuperative trip to the Texas seaside, staring at dolphins from the balcony of our hotel. Bliss!


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