Who needs “Bird Box”…

…you could just join me while I blithely pack up Christmas ornaments. “WTF Golly Gosh!”, I said as I noticed this harmless leaf footed bug who had died while stuck to the duct tape. He belongs to the stink bug family so DON’T SQUISH HIM, if you see a live one.

Didn’t he mummify perfectly? Such a handsome fellow when he doesn’t take one by surprise…

Then I started climbing up into the attic and noticed yet another mummy, above, that must have been under the Xmas boxes. Nearly fell off the darn ladder! Why is he decapitated? Is this an omen for 2019? This is a wonderful resident of Texas known as the tree roach. Most folks who move to Texas from other places are delightfully surprised that the giant roach they are trying to stamp on, FLIES into the trees! The biggest one I saw was 4 inches long and SLEEPING UNDER MY PILLOW. Even the bug man shuddered. Teddy and I both screamed.

So, although I am not phobic about these bugs, I was feeling a little skittish and had used too many cuss words at the very start of 2019. I sat down for a recuperative mug of tea and a snack. When I stood up I felt something fall onto my slipper. I glanced down and said “Geez Louise”…

I had to re-stage the photograph because I cussed again and threw my slipper off with the black THING. It was a Welch’s fruit pastille/candy. Heavens to Betsy, I do hope this is how 2019 is going to continue because it really made me laugh and pee a little.

If you are not one of the 45 million people who downloaded “Bird Box” from Netflix – it is a scary movie with an excellent cast. Perhaps I should ask guests to wear a blindfold when they visit my house?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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SEASONAL SOLILOQUY

This is the real Christmas letter that I send to our friends and family – enjoy!

SEASONAL SOLILOQUY

The title is deceptive – it was just to lure you in.  The truth is that not much has changed from last year.  Here are the best bits

  • Andy turned 60 years old in April. He is just as grumpy and annoying as I thought he would be.
  • I am horribly hormonal and bark orders at my poor senior spouse. Zits and wrinkles. Piss and vinegar.
  • We went to Mobile, Alabama, to celebrate the above senior’s birthday and it was wonderful despite back seat driving.
  • We are both working – enough said.
  • Andy traveled to California, Florida, Georgia and South Carolina. Kerry went to Mexico, Nevada and Arizona.  I ticked the Grand Canyon off my list and it was the trip from hell.
  • WE GOT A NEW REFRIGERATOR IN BLACK STAINLESS STEEL. So much anticipation and excitement only to find it just keeps food cold.
  • There were no hurricanes in Houston. There was a tropical storm on one of my VERY LONG work trips across the south of Texas.
  • MILLENNIALS! That references the previous point.  There are no Starbucks in rural Texas; deal with it.
  • Andy is about to exhibit some of his wonderful photographs on stretched canvas.
  • Kerry still writes nonsense on her blog and this year the fairy stories were popular but her fashion blogs even more so. Que?
  • We both had new DNA tests to clear up some anomalies. Andy has found some biological relatives in – wait for it – PETERHEAD!!  I am still Mexican and Irish.  I like Tequila and potatoes.
  • Kerry reduced Andy’s blood sugar levels – YAY! Some of this involved barking orders about food choices but now he is no longer pre-diabetic.
  • We watched a lot of Netflix.

Here we are in Brenham just after Thanksgiving this November.  One of the benefits of living in Texas is that it is warm in the winter time.

Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

From Kerry and Andy xxx

Toffee says Howdy!

READ THE NEXT PAGE FOR THE LESS HORMONAL VERSION…

page 2

Kerry’s hormones have balanced somewhat and I have stopped barking orders at Andy… ❤  We had a lovely evening showcasing Andy’s photos that we would like to exhibit in 2019.  Andy has been successful at selling some photos through Getty Images over the last few years, so this is a fun new adventure.

Andy is standing next to his piece de resistance, a 12 image composite of Arches, a natural rock formation, in Utah.  It is taken without a tripod – the composites are both horizontal and vertical.  Doesn’t he look slim and handsome for a 60 year old senior; all that hormonal barking has paid off? 🐕

One of the images is Kerry’s; the crow in silhouette at the Western Rim of the Grand Canyon in Arizona.  This was on the aforementioned trip from hell to Grand Canyon.  At least I got a good photograph out of it and potentially funny blogs in the future.  I have taken a break from the blog but hope to get back to it soon.

WISHING ALL MY FRIENDS AND READERS HOPE, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS IN 2019

This is just for Leah – our forests look exactly the same.  This was taken at Lake Bedias in Texas just after Thanksgiving.  The sign at the start of the forest tells us to watch out for snakes, alligators, bobcats, coyotes (but no lions, tigers or bears…oh my!)

 

Katniss has gone…

…and that is one of the reasons for my absence from WordPress. How many times do our hearts break when we lose a beloved pet? We had been feeding Katniss for a few years and I think she was about 4 years old. This year we bought her a little house and she finally figured out that she could use it on inclement days. A few weeks ago she suddenly disappeared and I quickly realized she was dead. After a couple of days there was a smell of death on the air and all the other little critters disappeared from our garden.

She was hale and hearty before she disappeared so I suspect she was run over by a car or succumbed after an encounter with another animal. The armadillos have created a warren of burrows under our deck and into the reserve so I will never find her. Possums and raccoons have started to visit again. For weeks we looked out of the window to no avail, as did Toffee, our elderly inside cat. My grief is tarnished with relief. We have spent almost 40 years looking after difficult, feral cats and would like a break. I was so worried about Katniss’s future and potential illness but fate has taken care of that.

This is the last photograph of Katniss enjoying her little house. It now sits empty like the Taj Mahal.

Feral cats have a short lifespan compared to domesticated cats so she had a lovely few years being spoiled with ‘pasta and trout’, her very own house and loving servants. Her little house sits empty but I have seen squirrels hop in and out. The fat raccoon could only squeeze her head in… We will leave it out as our Taj Mahal to Katniss. Perhaps it will give one of our many critter visitors a warm shelter?

I am going to take a little break from blogging and following but thank you to all my visitors. I look forward to catching up with everyone in the New Year. May you enjoy a marvelous festive season. Merry Christmas!

Saint Mary’s Catholic Church, Brenham, Texas

Lord, make me an instrument
of Thy peace;
Where there is hatred,
let me sow charity;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is error, truth;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light; and Where there is sadness, joy.
O, Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood as to understand; To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; And it is in dying to ourselves that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

Fall into Navy

Loft flowered blouse, Walmart junior jeans,  Silk flower ankle boots from Ross?

Do you notice that lovely glow on my face?  That is desperate sweating because it was still in the 90’s but I wanted to do another Fall Fashion post.  It is about 9 am in the morning and you can see the humidity on the deck.  Welcome to the swampy south!

Isn’t it great when you have friends who are the same size as you?  The blouse above was a gift swap from a friend.  The jeans were bought last year and, as always, I have to shop in the juniors section to get a good fit.  The pink dangling earrings cost about $2 in Waco and I love them!

Very fine knitted navy sweater from Nordstrom’s Rack, Linen pants from some years ago, Iridescent Navy kitten heels from Steinmart

This time the freebie was from another friend whose mother passed.  Like me, her mom loved clip on earrings so I inherited some.  I love these ones with a ‘ruby’ center.  Everyone keeps asking me why I don’t pierce my ears.  My ears are perfect and my Nana told me only ladies of ill repute had pierced ears.  Some things stick with you…😁  Despite that I am wearing a see-through sweater showing off my lovely 34 DDD bra (yes really).  Thank you to whichever ancestor gifted me them.

Bell sleeved blouse from Loft, ancient boot cut jeans from Marks and Spencers, those favorite Green Boc sandals

This is another gift of a blouse from the first friend.  It was a trip to the outlet mall that went wrong…to my benefit!  The pretty green earrings were also from Waco.  On a road trip I found this amazing place like a souk, and I have yet to find earrings that are as comfortable.  I bought eight pairs…

One of the reasons for the skin glow is a recent facial.   My skin had started to break out in acne cysts.  Her conclusion was that I was just filthy.  I don’t know how many times she applied a mask and took off layers of humidity and skin.  My mother gifted me beautiful skin but I forget that I have to be a little more careful in the tropics to avoid breakouts.

Why don’t you try gifting or swapping clothes with friends who are a similar size?  I had one tunic dress that I wore until I was fed up, gave it to a friend who wore it until she was fed up and now I have it back again.

 

Quirky Kerry Ramblings

Alabama squirrel aka Kerry

I went to my psychiatrist for a regular appointment last week.  First, he asked what was wrong with me when I thought I felt more like myself (quiet and introspective), then I misheard him suggesting that it might be the Phage.  My head immediately went to Star Trek Voyager where the Phage was a recurring story line of an alien disease.  Their skin starts to rot and I immediately thought about my red scarred zit on my forehead.  Reality returned and I asked him to explain (do you understand why I see a psychiatrist now?)  He was referring to the seasons changing at the autumnal equinox.  That might explain why I kept waking up at odd hours and felt out of sorts.  There are all sorts of clinical evidence theorizing that we do react emotionally to full moons and changing seasons.  Seasonal Affective disorder is very common in Northern Europe.

Can you tell that my mind is hopping about like a squirrel on caffeine?  I keep trying to focus on tasks but failing miserably – my head is full of pumpkin puree.  So here are my current ramblings about my life:  –

Why are my fashion posts the most popular? I love doing them and really appreciate the interest but I am 58 and really past my sell-by-date.  My elegant modeling mum always wore tasteful neutrals with a splash of vivid red or blue.  Quite naturally I wanted to look the complete opposite.  Punk was emerging and I was determined to look like Blondie, dyeing my dark hair blonde and dressing very provocatively.  Then I had a ‘wholesome’ period and then I got fat.  It wasn’t until my mum had died and I was in my 40’s before I found my own style.  Before that I hated having my photograph taken – how times change!

Why do I have so many gay boyfriends? Why are they all better looking than any straight boyfriend in the past??  I come from a conservatively religious background and it wasn’t okay to be gay.  Despite that, one of my aunts was undoubtedly gay but stayed in the closet to her family.  She kept introducing me to her girlfriends and I still didn’t get it…  I really don’t judge people for their sexuality and perhaps that is obvious.  I cherish the close relationship with a gay man without the complication of desire and can flirt outrageously without consequence.  At college, I made an assumption that a man with some feminine attributes was gay, made him my best friend and ultimately broke his heart.

I have been head hunted by three new companies in the last two weeks. This is at a time in my life when I would like to ‘chill’ and keep my anxiety levels down.  I am delighted, of course, but surprised (especially by one VP who recommended me – I didn’t think he liked me).  My first diploma was in business with a focus on travel and tourism.  Most of my career was spent working for non-profit organizations but now I work for DMCs – Destination Management Companies.  Who would have thought that my quirky personality would work in my favor?  It is an over-used word but I am a nice person and that goes a long way when you work with clients.

My sole piece of art is on the dark web – just jesting. 😈 I can’t post a link because it is a private site…  My friend Rob has a beautiful body that he likes to post naked.  One of his followers did a beautiful charcoal sketch from his nude photo and this so impressed me that I processed it photographically as an ink sketch.  Rob then asked me to process a different nude photograph which he sent me by email.  In case you are wondering, I did tell Teddy and showed him my artwork.  He rolled his eyes…  The odd thing is that there is nothing sexual about our friendship – Rob is young, handsome and straight.  Beyond that he is a really lovely guy whose personality and writing clicks with mine.  I make lots of cougar jokes but even I have a limit – he has to be at least 45 years old. 😁

My current best writing is fairy stories. I have invented a Texas School of Fairies, situated in Austin but no pun intended…  My mum had many beautiful qualities but the one I remember most is that she would make up a new story for me every night.  It always included a little girl called Kerry and animals and fairies and elves – you get the picture.  It was a special moment because she worked long hours and Nana did most of the caretaking.  I don’t have children but I would savor reading stories to them at night.  As an only child, my head was always in story books and I read the library dry.

My longing to travel has left me, along with the desire to write travelogues. I can’t quite figure out why.  I have retreated from friendships and groups, rarely socializing.  For a while I was depressed but now I feel reasonably settled.  My personality is still the same but even my psychiatrist noticed a difference in my behavior.  In some ways I have gone back to my childhood; solitary but content.  If I get anxious, I can still talk too much but it is lessening.  I share more with Katniss and Toffee than anyone else!  No doubt this is another phase in my life but momentarily I am enjoying the quiet.

Rambling over, until the next fashion post…

 

The Boy Fairies

Flax and Rye were the bane of their younger sister Blu’s life.  She had just started her first semester at the Texas School of Fairies.  So far, all of her tutors had made some comment about her older brothers.   Sometimes they mentioned their academic achievements but often they referred to their love of Mischief and Magick…  “Just wait until I get home to tell Mom and Dad”, thought Blu.

Her mother and father were also alumni of the Texas School of Fairies.  Her father was a coastal fairy from Corpus Christi, on the south west Gulf of Mexico.  His hair was the color of the golden white sand and his blue eyes matched his pastel blue wings with honey tips.  Blu’s mother was the most beautiful Prairie Fairy from Oklahoma.  Her wavy wheaten hair glistened in the sun like the many grains and grasses of the prairie.  Father was smitten after one gentle kiss from her rosebud mouth that made their wings vibrate with excitement.  Mother’s wings were metallic hues of bronze and copper with just a hint of amber.  Their love was so great that Father left his beloved seaside abode to live with Mother and her family in the Prairie.  His sand and blue coloring made it easier for him to fit into the Prairie world but sometimes his blue eyes clouded over as he dreamed of the Gulf’s gentle waters.

Blu had inherited her mother’s glorious looks and was named for her beautiful eyes.  Her hair was a riot of golden curls and like all the Prairie fairy children she had light colored wings.  Hers were the color of seashells – it was her greatest hope that when she blossomed she might inherit her Father’s hues and live in a coastal community.  Mother and Father really didn’t want their baby girl to leave the Prairie but were happy for her to go to such a prestigious school. “They won’t be happy if Flax and Rye get suspended from school”, Blu shared with her new friend Ria from Brownsville.  Ria had never seen boys quite as handsome as Blu’s brothers and her dark brown eyes sparkled with delight when she saw them.  Blu noticed this and could not understand why anyone would like her horrible brothers!  Fairy families have very similar dynamics to Homo Sapiens…

Flax and Rye had a penchant for having insects for pets.  No pets were allowed at the Fairy School but the brothers tucked them into their hammocks at night.  The other fairy boys were driven to distraction by the endless ticks and chirrups that emanated from those hammocks.  At home on the prairie, Blu would often find an unwanted pet in her own hammock!  Her brothers loved to hear her scream but then Father would get out his Fairy Switch.  The Texas School of Fairies was conservative so each tutor had a switch, usually made from willow twigs, but a sharp comment usually did the trick.  Sometimes a strict tutor would cast a harmless spell on a miscreant youth turning them into a Cicada for a day creating much hilarity among their classmates.

Blu and Ria were trying to decide what classes to take.  Blu had signed up for Apothecary Arts because her beloved Grandfather was a Fairy Healer.  Despite a resemblance to humans, Fairy physiology is quite different – more akin to that of a dragonfly, with a pupation cycle before the Blossoming into adulthood.  Flax and Rye also took Apothecary Arts but only to finesse their skill of fermenting grasses and tree saps.  It was probably the only reason why their fellow bunk mates put up with all their nonsense – you can’t go to school in Austin without a libation or two.  On their first week Blu and Ria tried some tree sap but after two acorn cups they were dizzy, so they both sensibly decided to wait until they were older to enjoy the delights of the Fairy Bar.  Humans have those in Austin too.

When Blue returned to her dorm and stumbled into her hammock, she could hear some of the other fairies giggling.  She was mortified that they had seen her, especially as she was really so shy, and normally well behaved.  The next day one of the Red River fairies, with glorious auburn waves, pointed at Blu in the classroom and whispered to the girl next to her.  Blu blushed from head to foot; their tutor Miss Aloe just had to touch her willow switch and everyone quieted down.  After class, Blu rushed out to the forested recess area, tears welling in her big sad eyes.  She sat under a toadstool hoping to hide from everyone.  Blue jumped hearing a familiar voice, “What’s up little sis?” asked her oldest brother Flax.

To her own surprise, she tearfully told Flax everything from the Fairy Bar to the classroom.  When she started sobbing, her wrapped her up in his arms and wings, gently soothing her.  “Dry your eyes and come with me” said Flax.  He walked straight up to the mean Red River fairy who started fluttering her russet wings at the sight of the most handsome fairy boy.  Blu hung behind him, feeling miserable.  “Rose, I would like you to meet my sister Blu” gently pulling her to the front.  Rose looked shamefaced especially when Flax said, “I would be so grateful if you could help her feel at home in Austin.  It is so far from the Prairie”.  He smiled widely at Rose, who told him that it would be her pleasure to help Blu settle in.

Rose stuck to her word, making sure that Blu settled into her first semester.  In time they would become friends and eventually imbibed Tree Sap together after their blossoming.  For now, Blu thought she might just be grateful to have a thoughtful big brother to help her settle in at Fairy School.

The End

Postscript

Each of my fairy stories have been based on the lives of friends here in Texas.  I write them and give them as a gift.  They seem to give more pleasure than traditional gifts.