Huehuecoyotl is mischief making…

Courtesy of Pixabay

Huehuecoyotl is one of the many Pre Colombian Gods of Mexico.  The translation is very old coyote.  He is an auspicious God and is generally beneficent but can be a prankster.  I have decided that he will now be my spirit guide when I go to Mexico next week.  He has already started mischief making…

After my amazing list of resolutions, (I have done more than one #2 every day – yippee), I have a short gap before my first work contract and have decided to go to Merida in the Yucatan next week.  It’s a solo visit – I don’t think Teddy is ready for one of my Spanish speaking, taking the local bus and arguing with taxi driver trips.  My last trip to Merida was a disaster but despite that I longed to return in more clement weather.

Booking the flight was easy.  I used air miles and there were a few seats left.  The flight is just over 2 hours so there are many commuters back and forth between Texas and Mexico.  One of the problems with my last trip was that I was staying in a beautiful old building with all the problems that come with that.  This time I decided to choose a generic chain hotel so that at least there is another room to go to…

Huehuecoyotl had arranged for British Airways to send me an email reminding me that I had to use my Avios points.  Ah ha, thought Kerry, I can book a hotel in Merida and save money.  I chose the Wyndham but when I received the final confirmation, I realized that they had not used my points and cash but just cash.  Wily Coyote!  The only option was to phone British Airways.  They have a free number in the States but you are speaking to someone in England.   A very nice lady with a well enunciated English dialect answered the phone promptly – wow! It was such a relief to speak to someone who immediately understood my accent.  I have no idea what the problem is in the USA – I speak clearly and you have all watched Braveheart/Outlander, haven’t you???

As soon as I explained what had happened, she indicated that it would be complicated to sort out so I would be on the phone for a while.  One hour…but at least it was free.  Long story shorter, the first booking had to be cancelled and then she attempted to do it again.  Coyote was having fun because there were two Merida Wyndhams on the BA website, one in lower case and one in upper case.  I assured my new friend that there was only one Wyndham hotel even though they had different addresses!

Right in the middle of all this, my gardeners arrived.  I apologized and said I would have to carry the phone outside while I spoke to them. “Hola! Como Esta”, “Bien, y Usted?”  Then there was some bad Spanish when I tried to explain that I needed a brick stand for the Casa de Gatta (Katniss).  The nice lady said, “Do you live in Mexico?”  Well, if you ask a Trump voter, they might say yes, but really we live in the bilingual metropolis of Houston.  I used eastern Europeans in England as an example.  New immigrants always do the jobs that no one else wants to do.

Back to the strange website; neither the UPPER CASE nor lower case Wyndham would take my money or booking.  Likely they had no rooms left – welcome to Mexico!  Finally I decided that I would just completely cancel all bookings with British Airways and ponder what to do next.  The nice lady was very apologetic and had even reduced the price before I was banished from that hotel.  We bid each other goodbye and I wondered if she was going to tell someone about her strange conversation.  What was even funnier, in the middle of all of this, Toffee had a poo (great resolution) in her litter box and started caterwauling for me to clean it stat!  She was so loud that I had to apologize for that noise whilst escaping to the other side of the house with computer and phone to get away from the noise of the gardeners.

So, I sat thinking about a possibly ill-fated trip but was so amused by the whole situation that I decided to just do a Booking.com.  They allow you to cancel close to the trip time and you don’t pay until after you arrive.  They were problematic the last time (my hotel was not available and didn’t find out until the night before).  Maybe Huehuecoyotl would help out?  I chose the first one that had a great review and it is a 17th century mansion – uh oh.  The hotel immediately confirmed my booking in Spanish – excellente and it is so beautiful that I could just photograph that building.

I am going next week and Teddy is looking after the gattas.  Wish me luck and hope that my puppy God wants to play nice.

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Flirting on airplanes

airplane

Flirting on airplanes – it’s a special skill and it has taken me years to master it. Sometimes I mention my work at an airport to lead to upgrade on a plane. This trip to Scotland, I caught the eye of a charming middle-aged flight attendant from Lisbon. First, I complimented him on his lovely accent – that led to him giving me a ‘delicioso’ meal from business class. I heard him asking the young group of people in front of me why they were visiting and from what I could understand they were dancers on a cruise ship. The flight attendant suggested they might give some dance lessons in the galley later. I told him I could teach him the Samba and this led to 2 bottles of Cointreau from first class. We later had a short Samba in the galley…

On one occasion this professional schmoozing back-fired somewhat. I caught the eye of a flight attendant who snuck me up to Club class but he shouldn’t have. I had four wonderful seats to myself until the married businessman across the aisle came and sat next to me to chat quietly (night flight). We had fun sharing stories of disrepute. I was slightly surprised that he had a couple flings. Then…he asked me what I said during coitus. I was flabbergasted but laughingly said, “unintelligible moaning”. I could sense that an invitation to the mile high club was imminent so suggested, tactfully, he go back to his seat. During this scenario, the first flight attendant had come to visit me (he was in the next cabin) and looked appalled that someone was sniffing around his territory. No more treats for Kerry. We really haven’t evolved as much as we think we have and it is no wonder that STDs are spreading fastest between age 50 plus lovers.

I can hear you all thinking “poor Teddy – married to such a slutty Bunny”. But no…he is a handsome guy with a sexy Scottish accent who some years ago managed Europe and Kazakhstan in his particular role. Bunny was increasingly fed up with how GORGEOUS all Kazakh women were. Sometimes Blond Russians were appreciated but mostly Ethnic Kazakh were his preference. Bear in mind that there were two women to every male Kazakh at this time. He was suddenly a Greek God or whatever the Scottish equivalent was. Apparently he was the bees knees “rejecting myriad offers”… On one particular flight from Almaty (the capital of Kazakhstan) to Europe he was sitting next to a beautiful Kazakh woman, of an appropriate age, who was going to visit her daughter in the States. She was beautiful, dark with amazing cheekbones. She was entranced by the handsome guy chatting to her in Sean Connery’s accent. All was well until the meal and drinks were served. It’s a long journey – Kazakhstan is as broad as the USA. Teddy woke up sleeping on the beautiful woman’s shoulder, having drooled down her outfit. Suddenly not so attractive…. So as you can see Teddy and Bunny are a match made in heaven, both deceptively attractive. One drools and snores; the other needs a new deodorant.

There is a nice postscript to this anecdote. On the sad return journey from Scotland to Houston I used my powers for good not evil. The flight was not full and most passengers had a seat empty next to them. I started talking to the lady in my row, from Hawaii, who had just visited her new grandchild in Scotland and we celebrated that with every death there is a birth. Then I turned to the passenger on the row opposite. He was obviously of Arabic descent so I asked him where he had come from. He was in the armed forces and had just come from Baghdad. I asked if it was bad and he said yes. He was squashed next to two big guys, wasn’t wearing fatigues and seemed unwilling to ask the British Airways staff for a better seat. I went back into the galley and found a handsome flight attendant from the north of Scotland. I explained the situation and shortly afterwards he came along to the soldier and seated him in a row alone. The soldier said, “thank you, sweetie” and I responded, “thank you for your service”. I rarely say that to returning servicemen because it sometimes sounds trite and you can see that they seem traumatized. I have seen so many family reunions go badly because a loud welcome is the last thing they need no matter how well intentioned. Usually I just go out of my way to be accommodating because actions mean so much more than words. So, the next time you see a young man of Arabic descent, why don’t you just engage him in conversation? At the very least he might feel less isolated or you might find yourself talking to a real hero.