Bah humbug

Krampus, courtesy of AV Club

Nothing I do can get me in a festive mood – I am so grumpy that it is funny.  Every year I love decorating my 7 foot tall, expensive, fake tree decorated with ornaments from our childhood and from all over the world (but not this year).  I create a snow village under the tree that occasionally a cat has peed on or wrecked.  One year our little Egyptian terrorists (cats) raided Bethlehem and the nativity scene.  I used to say that I was spiritual or an atheist depending on my snarky mood but now I know I am a lapsed Catholic doomed to spend eternity in Purgatory or worse…

Most years I host a Christmas party in the house but this year Teddy said ‘No’!  He was quite right – that would have tipped me over the edge.  While he was in Scotland on business, I decorated ‘somewhat’ with my best ornaments hanging from our chandeliers.  I even painted our outside furniture and adorned the porch with some discreet fairy lights and decorations.

As most of you know, I volunteer at an airport which is a hub for Latin America, in particular.  I love it or I wouldn’t still be doing it after 8 years.  I wore my regulation Santa hat (apparently my reindeer antlers don’t cut it??) and my red and black banded tights, with my non regulation miniskirt…  The first person that irked me was another staff member – I was racing across the terminal to help someone and I said, “Ho ho ho!” to him.  He responded, “Or something” with no smile, looking at me as though I was a ‘Ho.  WTF!  This was balanced by another staff member who stopped me on my return to ask me if the elves were still on strike – the kids loved that.

I often work in the international terminal when the Central American flights come in.  This week it was something special, with Abuela’s (Grandma’s) in full traditional clothing coming in from Guatemala and El Salvador.  Many families had traveled with their whole family from other states just to meet their precious relatives who they may not have seen for many years.   Children from this region look entirely Maya and one little poppet who looked adorable in a little white furry jacket.  She looked like a little Maya angel tree-topper.  After three hours, I wondered if the Maya gods would reward me for sacrificing one of their precious children…who were now screaming and kicking my door (I am jesting, of course).  To my credit I kept smiling and reassuring everyone in bad Spanish that their relatives would be out soon – (hopefully not from holding cells).

It was perhaps all the Christmas social events leading up to now that provoked this Krampus spirit within me.  I am feeling very sensitive and every thoughtless comment bothers me.  You will love this one, “I preferred it when you were the happy, smiling Kerry”.  Really, really??  Guess what, me too!! “Your hair is getting a bit long”.  Are you my stylist?  Poor Teddy said, “You have spilled something on the floor”.  Biting sarcasm ensued regarding my qualities as a serf to his Highness.

Driving is always bad here but right now there are demons at the wheel.  Why don’t you all go through the red light – it’s only there for decoration?  What terrible gift are you going to buy that’s worth racing for – just use Amazon like a normal person.  They employ demons to drive their trucks…  Now the weather Gods have turned on us.  It has gone from freezing to about 80 degrees – everyone is sneezing, wearing fleeces with sandals.  Today, I tried to turn the tide.  I went to my favorite coffee shop to speak Arabic to my Palestinian friend.  I can tell he is missing Jerusalem – it’s colder there.  Then I went to the Salvation Army kettle and chatted to the old man about the stupid weather.  I asked him if he needed a cold drink because it was so damned hot!  I passed by the pet store and bought Toffee a knitted toucan filled with catnip.  Katniss got a knitted dog because I thought she would love to savage one…

On a more serious note, I am deeply saddened that road rage or any bad mood could make someone fire a gun and kill a child.  Even worse, kill innocent shoppers at a Christmas market or attack fleeing evacuees in a war zone.  It is within all of us to find our inner angel and love our fellow man.  Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Super Solstice to all!

 

 

 

DEATH DEFYING MUMMY STUNT

Red line marks the stunt…

This is one of our favorite houses from the early days of our marriage. The house was built in the 1930s and it was originally a bank. There was a smaller house abutted to the back and just out of sight to the right was the bank manager’s house. There was a little railroad boom at this time and this tiny village, nay hamlet, benefited hugely with a bank, hotel, shop (it was still called the emporium). The rail line was still there but had been cut in the early 60s – so shortsighted. If they had only known the oil boom was coming to Aberdeen.

It is hard for you to envisage but it was a taller than average house – the two floors were almost equivalent to three on a normal house as you can see from the cottage behind. The attic was unbelievable – you could have had parties up there. We had three of our first batch of cats then, Pippy, Muffy and Puss. Pippy was exquisite but she was a little monster at times. See my post, Pippy was a Welsh cat…

Both the kitchen to the left of the conservatory and our bedroom above were vaults for the bank and the walls were incredibly thick with big windowsills for the cats to laze on. You can see that we had to repair the wall as the original renovators had not installed a strong enough lintel for the kitchen window. The window in the bedroom opened from the middle – probably for safety as it was a straight drop to concrete below.

I kept hearing Pippy crying but couldn’t figure out where she was. Eventually, I tracked it down to our bedroom but she was nowhere to be seen. Finally, I looked out the window and the little minx had jumped from our window to the neighbor’s rooftop and was now trying to jump back which was almost certainly doomed to failure. I knew there were no ladders big enough or fire station for miles. I ran next door to our lovely new neighbors. He was training to become a Pastor after years of working for Oxfam (a non-profit charity) in Africa.

He and the children ran to help me and I have no idea how I did it but I stood on the windowsill, stretched my body across to the rooftop while the neighbor was hanging onto my legs for dear life. Amazingly, I grabbed my bad cat and brought her in through the window. It felt like one of those scenarios where mothers lift cars off their children. Pippy was fine, the window closed and the adults were shaking. The children thought it was the biggest adventure EVER!

When Teddy came home from work that night he was horrified by all the possibilities of what could have gone wrong, not helped by his fear of heights. I could write a book about all the naughty things Pippy got up to. This photo shows her either playing or terrorizing my original cat, Tibby, who lived with my mum. I still have that original rocking chair which belonged to beloved Nana. It has since been covered in exquisite silk but now has a blue Walmart blanket on it because the current demons cats that we live with…

Pippy the cat from hell…