Tagged -Wanna Know You Better!

Would you vote for this person?

My thoughts are empty and chaotic all at the same time, unable to think of a post.  Then I got tagged by my lovely young friend, Eliza, on her thought-provoking blog Journey to Life.  Eliza  always signs, ‘Love, Light, Glitter,’ which invariably makes me smile.  It never ceases to amaze me how many diverse friends I have through WordPress, connected through our love of words, emotions and images.  We connect despite a disparity in age, lifestyle and often language.  You can tell how old I am when I say that the title of this tag/post is bothering me – I want to know you better?  Grammar is so important, girls! (In the voice of Maggie Smith in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie).  In a brief interlude with fame, my friend and I were asked to interview for the BBC Scotland series that followed the original film.  We were loveys in the Drama Group but both declined because college was beckoning.  Most of the younger schoolchildren in that second series attended our drama-loving high school.

I thought the questions in the second part of Eliza’s post were intriguing enough to inspire a post.

• If I were a politician I would be – honest. I think it is really that simple but I doubt I would ever be a politician.  I can only imagine what the media would make of my mental health, ‘interesting’ family and ex-con father.  On the other hand, could it be worse than what we have?
• If I were a writer I would be – successful. With a Kindle book, a blog and published articles, I am a writer of sorts.  In the past I imagined I would be science fiction author who would make millions incorporating aliens and romance.  My next medication might help that happen…
• If I were a book I would be – a self-help guide. I long to nurture anyone that comes close to me and have always sought jobs that are ‘helping’ in nature. But in my head I would prefer to be a Courtesan, so that might be a 50 shades novel?
• If I were a chat show host I would be – hilariously funny. A female version of Craig Ferguson, perhaps?
• If I were a criminal I would be – endearing? I doubt that I could be a criminal other than by accident.  See below.
• If I were a religion I would be – (lapsed) Catholic. In my youth I rebelled against my restrictive religious upbringing but now I have relaxed into an appreciation of my culture/faith.  My moral code is mostly informed by Catholicism with some common sense.  Heavens, I don’t sound like Courtesan material, eh?
• If I were a mythical beast I would be a Selkie!  Selkies are a Celtic combo of a seal and mermaid that can turn into a human.  They are cute and furry, just like me, with a touch of naughtiness.  Maybe I could be a Courtesan/Selkie?
• If I were a Disney character I would be – Donald Duck. You should hear my impersonation.  Children either laugh or run off crying when I start mumbling unintelligibly like a Drunk Donald Duck.  Teddy thinks I should enunciate better and that makes me do it more just to annoy him.
• If I were a drug I would be – Prozac. That drug was truly made in my image!
• If I were an animal I would be – a lizard. Despite living in the subtropics, I am always cold.  I am writing this with a fleecy dressing gown on – it is 100 degrees outside.  My feet are cold but the air con is at 78 degrees.
• If I were a piece of food I would be – a yellow mango. Sallow skin but deliciously sweet on the inside.
• If I were an illness I would be – Anxiety! Tense, edgy, scared.
• If I were a mood I would be – blue. The color of my feet right now…
• If I were a vacation resort I would be – anywhere that is not a resort. I like to think of myself as a Salt Lake – intriguing, healing and usually remote.  They are a little stinky but so am I when I use my Sulfur wash.
• If I were a pattern I would be – Paisley.  A little old-fashioned, with a Scottish accent, but chic, too.
• If I were a tree I would be – an Oak. Steady, balanced with feet planted firmly in the soil; nurturing so many critters in my branches.

Thank you to Eliza for giving me something to smile about!  Love Light Glitter!

 

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Out, out, damned cataract!

Sorry about the title, I was a drama geek at school and I am generally a bit of a Lady McBeth. Well, I saw the eye surgeon on Monday. Doesn’t it worry you when a surgeon seems excited about a case? I have a subcapsular cataract which can develop dramatically quickly, sometimes in a few weeks but in my case over a year. He was astonished at how little I could see with my left eye and said, “Haven’t you noticed flaring in your left eye?” My response was that I had only noticed it since my first diagnosis, a week before. It isn’t the normal ageing cataract but can sometimes be caused by diabetes or steroid use. My father and grandmother had diabetes but I have no sign of it, nor have I been taking steroids. I also have a pinguecula, which is a benign growth on eye and we agreed that both may be caused by UV damage. Blue eyes are especially sensitive when living in the subtropics for as long as we have. There is a possibility that the Lasik surgery I had 11 years ago may have also caused it. Now I can hear my mother’s voice in my head saying, “It doesn’t come from our side of the family!” For some reason she was always very upset that I didn’t have 20/20 vision – perhaps because I had to cover up my baby blues with thick glasses.

The very highly recommended eye surgeon told me far too much about exactly what he was going to do, statistics and gross stuff. This was only mitigated by him having a strong Chinese accent – he is from Hong Kong originally. He is a fascinating guy – originally he was a mechanical engineer and then studied medicine. As my regular eye doctor pointed out, it is his fascination with technology and detail that makes him a gifted surgeon. When I was in the waiting room, I noticed that most of his patients were elderly which is to be expected. They looked like regular down home folks and I wondered how on earth they understood anything he said? Most Texans struggle with my accent, which is very well enunciated, by the way… Perhaps it’s a blessing that they didn’t hear the gross stuff like how he breaks down the cataract with a laser and then suctions it all out. With a teeny, tiny Dyson, maybe?

Then he will put in an acrylic lens and with a bit of luck, I will have perfect vision in that eye until I die. I might die just thinking about it – relax, I jest! I was assured by his technical detail – he took endless measurements and wanted to know precisely at what angle I held my laptop to get the best end result. With good luck my previous eye doctor still had the records of my eye prescription pre and post Lasik which will help further. My real concern was cost but United Healthcare will cover both him and the clinic where the operation is performed. We still have to pay a substantial sum of money but if we lived in Scotland I would be on a long waiting list and probably have to go private anyway.

He noticed that I was fit and told me that I couldn’t do strenuous exercise for a couple of weeks. I looked at him quizzically and he said, “No boxing”. People these days are just crazy. If it’s not Zumba, it’s kick-boxing. That’s okay if you are a youngster but walking is good enough for the rest of us. BTW, Osyth, I will be awake for the surgery! Now I am kind of excited that if all goes well I won’t even have to wear middle-aged reading glasses.

♫ You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you ♫