It is hard to ignore all our global crises, from the pandemic to catastrophic weather, but laughter truly is a medicine. My psychiatrist Zoomed me last week and I made him laugh out loud. He suggested I try a stand-up comedy evening and generally gave me a gold star for trying hard to keep the blues away. The next day, I felt low and overwhelmed but just watched one of my favorite Youtube comics. The First Minister in Scotland, Nicola Sturgeon, has been giving daily briefings to Scotland on Covid-19. Unlike ours in the US, her briefings are succinct, sensible and more importantly CORRECT!! A Scottish comedian, Janey Godley, does a voiceover of the briefings in a strong Glaswegian dialect. They make me howl with laughter because they are so familiar. I doubt that many of my readers could understand her so I have put a translation underneath. The First Minister approves of the voiceovers because Janey Godley keeps the real message intact within the comedy. WARNING!! There are a couple of F bombs in it (common parlance in Glasgow) but the other video below is more gentle and doesn’t need translation. Just one wee eff at the end…
Right here’s the official word and I will tell you (for) why. All the Sandras, big Jeanette, all the Pippa Dees (Tupperware like parties?) have all been cancelled. Nobody is going to Torremolinos (Jersey Shore style Spanish resort). We are all just chatting on the Snapchat Group. Stop going out. Stop meeting your friends. Stop going to the park and gathering together.
A Bunch of effing Idiots.
You have all been told.
Everybody is going to die if you keeping going about and going home with a virus on you. So, I’ve told you once and I’m not going to tell you again.
This the Official Line –
If I see any of you out there, I am going to take a run and put my toe up the crack of your bottom. So stop it. Stay in the house, wash your hands and keep your families safe. Effing snapchat your friends. I will be speaking to Big Teresa later. All of you; use your phone and STOP IT!
If you browse Youtube you can see the real briefings – that have no F bombs and are less fun! I know that we all need a wee massage at the moment so I hope you enjoy the virtual cat one below. I think you will understand this but let me know if you need a translation. Happy Weekend, Wash your Hands, Keep your Distance, Wear your Bloody Mask and Keep Safe. Most of all, keep laughing.