Eye, Eye, Captain

Would you sleep with this woman?

You know that question was rhetorical. Who doesn’t want to sleep with a cyborg in bright pink PJs? For those of you who are new to my blog, I had three bad things happen recently. My husband was laid off from the oil industry, my beloved mother in law died and I unexpectedly needed eye surgery to treat a subcapsular cataract that had formed in my left eye. Everything had to happen quickly to take advantage of our existing health insurance and last week I had eye surgery on Wednesday.

We turned up at the clinic and things proceeded quite quickly…until they couldn’t find a vein. After two attempts, the charming southern anesthetist was called and inserted the IV. This meant that my pre medication, commonly known as a medical margarita, was late in being delivered. The schedule was a bit off and suddenly I was being raced into the operating theater. Before that, I had been asked on numerous occasions which eye it was, confirmed my identity and was reassured that no-one was going to take out a kidney. From previous procedures I knew I wasn’t as Margarita ‘happy’ as I usually am and was a little concerned.

I was taken first to the laser which was going to chop up the cataract and the remains are vacuumed out. Despite the numbing drops and the pre-med I was completely aware of what was happening and could even feel a slight burning at the end of the laser procedure. Utterly terrified I kept completely still and followed all instructions. Then I went across the room to another bed where the new lens was implanted into my eye (until death, I hope). I kept hoping the happy juice would kick in but no….I was utterly aware of everything. It was like torture but with no pain. I felt the various procedures, one by one and although it was fast it felt like an eternity.

At the end, the operating staff said I was a perfect patient. I can only hope I react the same way at my next torture session when China finally invades the US or whatever other scenario the crazy people envisage. The next day I saw my eye surgeon for a follow up and even he looked horrified that I had been quite so awake. They need you to be in a twilight zone so that you can follow instructions precisely but feel relaxed. This was not like Lasik – then I was so happy I thought I could fly.

The very nice silver lining is that my sight has been restored and I am writing this WITH NO READERS! My baby blues still look adorable and I am recovering very quickly. Drove to the surgeon the following day; been out for my long walk with sunglasses and a hat. I have myriad eye drops to take for weeks to come to prevent infection, inflammation and general mayhem. This is America – it cost a fortune but it was done almost immediately and by an excellent surgeon who I could choose. We paid extra to have the laser seal the wound with no stitches which usually means a quicker recovery with less complications and discomfort.

They had to dilate my eye hugely for the surgery and I looked like a Betazoid on Star Trek with one enormous black eye. This photograph was taken the next day and even the surgeon was surprised that it was so dilated. When I was young and frisky, guys used to ask me if my eyes were black but I was just so excited that my pupils dilated hugely. Perhaps they still do…. 🙂

Can you see the mark of Kwok above my eye? It was so weird having one black eye.

Finally – many thanks to all my followers who have been so solicitous about my surgery and other health problems. It has been much needed salve in my current wounds and has helped keep me afloat in a very difficult time in my life. It is hard to imagine the kindness of strangers and those who have become good friends. It is a testament to the goodness of people and I very much appreciate every single comment and ‘like’.

PS My surgeon’s name was Kwok and he marked my eye to make sure they did the left one.

Out, out, damned cataract!

Sorry about the title, I was a drama geek at school and I am generally a bit of a Lady McBeth. Well, I saw the eye surgeon on Monday. Doesn’t it worry you when a surgeon seems excited about a case? I have a subcapsular cataract which can develop dramatically quickly, sometimes in a few weeks but in my case over a year. He was astonished at how little I could see with my left eye and said, “Haven’t you noticed flaring in your left eye?” My response was that I had only noticed it since my first diagnosis, a week before. It isn’t the normal ageing cataract but can sometimes be caused by diabetes or steroid use. My father and grandmother had diabetes but I have no sign of it, nor have I been taking steroids. I also have a pinguecula, which is a benign growth on eye and we agreed that both may be caused by UV damage. Blue eyes are especially sensitive when living in the subtropics for as long as we have. There is a possibility that the Lasik surgery I had 11 years ago may have also caused it. Now I can hear my mother’s voice in my head saying, “It doesn’t come from our side of the family!” For some reason she was always very upset that I didn’t have 20/20 vision – perhaps because I had to cover up my baby blues with thick glasses.

The very highly recommended eye surgeon told me far too much about exactly what he was going to do, statistics and gross stuff. This was only mitigated by him having a strong Chinese accent – he is from Hong Kong originally. He is a fascinating guy – originally he was a mechanical engineer and then studied medicine. As my regular eye doctor pointed out, it is his fascination with technology and detail that makes him a gifted surgeon. When I was in the waiting room, I noticed that most of his patients were elderly which is to be expected. They looked like regular down home folks and I wondered how on earth they understood anything he said? Most Texans struggle with my accent, which is very well enunciated, by the way… Perhaps it’s a blessing that they didn’t hear the gross stuff like how he breaks down the cataract with a laser and then suctions it all out. With a teeny, tiny Dyson, maybe?

Then he will put in an acrylic lens and with a bit of luck, I will have perfect vision in that eye until I die. I might die just thinking about it – relax, I jest! I was assured by his technical detail – he took endless measurements and wanted to know precisely at what angle I held my laptop to get the best end result. With good luck my previous eye doctor still had the records of my eye prescription pre and post Lasik which will help further. My real concern was cost but United Healthcare will cover both him and the clinic where the operation is performed. We still have to pay a substantial sum of money but if we lived in Scotland I would be on a long waiting list and probably have to go private anyway.

He noticed that I was fit and told me that I couldn’t do strenuous exercise for a couple of weeks. I looked at him quizzically and he said, “No boxing”. People these days are just crazy. If it’s not Zumba, it’s kick-boxing. That’s okay if you are a youngster but walking is good enough for the rest of us. BTW, Osyth, I will be awake for the surgery! Now I am kind of excited that if all goes well I won’t even have to wear middle-aged reading glasses.

♫ You’re so vain, you probably think this blog is about you ♫