This is the real Christmas letter that I send to our friends and family – enjoy!
The title is deceptive – it was just to lure you in. The truth is that not much has changed from last year. Here are the best bits
- Andy turned 60 years old in April. He is just as grumpy and annoying as I thought he would be.
- I am horribly hormonal and bark orders at my poor senior spouse. Zits and wrinkles. Piss and vinegar.
- We went to Mobile, Alabama, to celebrate the above senior’s birthday and it was wonderful despite back seat driving.
- We are both working – enough said.
- Andy traveled to California, Florida, Georgia and South Carolina. Kerry went to Mexico, Nevada and Arizona. I ticked the Grand Canyon off my list and it was the trip from hell.
- WE GOT A NEW REFRIGERATOR IN BLACK STAINLESS STEEL. So much anticipation and excitement only to find it just keeps food cold.
- There were no hurricanes in Houston. There was a tropical storm on one of my VERY LONG work trips across the south of Texas.
- MILLENNIALS! That references the previous point. There are no Starbucks in rural Texas; deal with it.
- Andy is about to exhibit some of his wonderful photographs on stretched canvas.
- Kerry still writes nonsense on her blog and this year the fairy stories were popular but her fashion blogs even more so. Que?
- We both had new DNA tests to clear up some anomalies. Andy has found some biological relatives in – wait for it – PETERHEAD!! I am still Mexican and Irish. I like Tequila and potatoes.
- Kerry reduced Andy’s blood sugar levels – YAY! Some of this involved barking orders about food choices but now he is no longer pre-diabetic.
- We watched a lot of Netflix.
Here we are in Brenham just after Thanksgiving this November. One of the benefits of living in Texas is that it is warm in the winter time.
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
From Kerry and Andy xxx
Toffee says Howdy!
READ THE NEXT PAGE FOR THE LESS HORMONAL VERSION…
Kerry’s hormones have balanced somewhat and I have stopped barking orders at Andy… ❤ We had a lovely evening showcasing Andy’s photos that we would like to exhibit in 2019. Andy has been successful at selling some photos through Getty Images over the last few years, so this is a fun new adventure.
Andy is standing next to his piece de resistance, a 12 image composite of Arches, a natural rock formation, in Utah. It is taken without a tripod – the composites are both horizontal and vertical. Doesn’t he look slim and handsome for a 60 year old senior; all that hormonal barking has paid off? 🐕
One of the images is Kerry’s; the crow in silhouette at the Western Rim of the Grand Canyon in Arizona. This was on the aforementioned trip from hell to Grand Canyon. At least I got a good photograph out of it and potentially funny blogs in the future. I have taken a break from the blog but hope to get back to it soon.
WISHING ALL MY FRIENDS AND READERS HOPE, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS IN 2019
This is just for Leah – our forests look exactly the same. This was taken at Lake Bedias in Texas just after Thanksgiving. The sign at the start of the forest tells us to watch out for snakes, alligators, bobcats, coyotes (but no lions, tigers or bears…oh my!)
This post is a bit all over the place but let’s begin. I went for a mammogram last week at the insistence of my new gynecologist who is determined to sort out my dodgy hoo-ha. He has suggested that I take a genetic test to see what cancers might lurk in my future – not as much fun as the Ancestry genetic test. He has put me on estrogen – top and bottom. Y’alls know I live in Texas, the land of strange modesty, and when you go for a mammogram, the female nurses delicately slip off part of your robe and pull out each boob. This time I said, “Look, I was brought up in Europe. If you don’t mind I am just going to take off the robe and stand in my knickers”. She laughed and said that in Sweden women just sit in the waiting room breasts akimbo.
She asked me why I was having a mammogram and said I was a little anxious about HRT. Turned out she is on the same treatment as me and she told me that 98% of women, diagnosed with breast cancers, had not been on HRT. That said, however, I bet many of them had been on the contraceptive pill. Then she asked me about my ethnicity and was a tad surprised about the Native, North African and other exotic parts of my DNA. She noted that I was slim and my skin was in good condition. In her opinion, people’s eating habits in America had much to do with their health and I have to agree. It shocks me to see queues of rich people waiting at McDonalds for their lunch (they have a choice). I would no more eat a fast food burger than fly to the moon. I do eat processed food from time to time but try to lean towards clean and organic food. Perhaps there is a tad too much vodka in my life…I’m not perfect!
So…on Saturday I went out early to take some of my fancy dresses to a resale shop. They only wanted one of them and gave me $4.55 for a dress worth close to $100. On the way home I gave most of it to the fireman with the charity boot – what a waste of time but he was a handsome guy! I called Teddy to ask him to get washed and dressed so that we could go out for lunch. When I got home he was still in his pajamas. Normally this would raise merry hell but the HRT has a curious calming effect. FINALLY, after many baleful looks, we got on the road. We went to a local foodie place that served a perfect lunch. I had a delightful glass of Albarino from Spain – just faintly pink and dry, followed by a miniature appetizer. It was four little chickpea fritters with two delicious salsas. You could taste each individual flavor. Teddy had a crab and avocado sandwich with micro cilantro (weird but lovely). To finish we each had one scoop of yummy ice cream about the size of an egg. That is a perfect portion for lunch unless you are a marathon runner.
I have a love/hate relationship with my cell phone and it drives Teddy crazy that I don’t answer his texts (all the more reason not to…) He asked me if I had seen his text. No, was the obvious answer but I got out my phone and looked at his text. It had been sent from a new ‘dragon?’ app where he just speaks into the phone and it sends the text. I texted, “Good for you, asswipe”, his face was a picture especially when the female computer voice nicely enunciated asswipe. He then spoke into the phone saying, “I am not an asswipe” to which dragon lady responded, “I – am – not –an – asswipe”. By this time I was really laughing but became hysterical when the phone auto-corrected his text to “I am not a Muslim”. My laughter ricocheted from one end of the restaurant to the other. As you know, I am not bigoted but just love those autocorrects. I am just grateful that most people can’t understand our Celtic accents.
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!🐤🐰
PS The mammogram showed that I have benign stuff (that’s a medical term) bilaterally. Don’t you panic when it says anything other than negative?
The HRT is turning me into a snarky teenager…