Sexy Valentine’s Day

heartsbook

As many of you know from a previous post Vajazzling, I have had medical treatment for a condition called vaginal atrophy. I suppose you could think of it as female sexual dysfunction – painful sex being one symptom. As you enter into menopause your skin, everywhere, ages, including down there… One of the ways to treat this is with estrogen cream applied to the area but it gives me an upset tummy. A couple of years ago I underwent privately paid laser treatment named rather ludicrously Mona Lisa Touch. It did help but was unable to treat the outer tissues which are just as fragile. I must be one of very few people that asked their boss if they could wear a skirt because pants are too uncomfortable.

It was obvious to me that I needed a second treatment and started researching. I discovered a gynecologist in my area offering a new treatment called THERMIva (if you click on the red link it takes you to a randomly chosen website offering the service). Instead of a laser this treatment uses radio frequency to heat and rejuvenate the tissues in much the same way as Ultherapy works on your face. I was assured that there was no downtime and clients had gone straight home to have sex with their husbands. It was a little uncomfortable for me but I was full of hope.

Essentially it is like having sex with a medical device and my body reacted the same way that it always does. The nest of bacteria that lives down there immediately reacted and I knew within hours that I had a urinary tract infection. I have low dose antibiotics to use immediately after sex and I took a double dose. I managed to kill it but was still in discomfort because a yeast infection had decided to join the party. Two Diflucan tablets later and it finally subsided somewhat.

Teddy and Bunny’s love life has been in decline recently for endless reasons. The funniest was when my husband asked me to look at his bottom. Since I had already given him a yeast infection that’s what I assumed it was. Brief segue to Teddy trying to explain to the pharmacist that the cream for vaginal use ONLY was for him – how I laughed! Back to his bottom – I knew immediately that it was ringworm which the doctor confirmed. Yes, I too wondered WTF? He probably got it when he was doing yard work. There are certainly enough critters visiting for that to be a possibility. Bunny wouldn’t let Teddy come anywhere near him since ringworm is contagious – great vacation in Puerto Vallarta!

Anyway, back to this Valentine’s weekend. Enough alcohol had been imbibed for Bunny to be brave enough to test out her newly refurbished hoo-ha. I felt a bit like a virgin but still had a fun time. My body reacted like it normally does so I rushed to get the antibiotics but I think I might have skipped an infection. Yay! I have an appointment with my doctor this week to check things out. When I was 19, I never thought life would be this complicated. The doctor asked me if I would consider helping to write a research paper about how THERMIva can help woman who can neither have laser or hormone treatment after cancer treatment. She quite rightly pointed out that this is a hidden problem that few woman talk about and that the THERMIva can help with bladder dysfunction also.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY and its TMI Tuesday!

Blackout

blackout clipart

I had a strange day on Sunday. As most of you know, my husband has been laid off, my mother in law just died so we had to make a sad transatlantic trip and now I have a strange cataract to be removed. It all just hit me last week and I became ill. I spent a few days in bed and then ‘suggested’ to my husband that he take a small road trip just for a break. Both of us needed a break from each other and the situation. Somehow I can only clear my head and get my equilibrium back in complete solitude.

He was eager to leave… Off he went to north Texas, taking photographs and then asked if he could stay another night. “Of course”, I said and then pondered about how bad I had been to make him stay away. Yeah guys – there is no understanding women (especially menopausal women who are unwell). The first day he left, I slowly got back into normal life, got out of bed and cleaned the house. The GP diagnosed some kind of allergy to an, as yet unknown, substance – my tummy is really itchy but no rash. I have been trying to cut out foods, as suggested, to no avail. The result has been that my cleavage is getting smaller – why does weight always come off the boobs first?

By the time he came home on Sunday, I was my normal sunny Bunny self and had worked out a realistic plan for our proposed new business. He frightened me when he returned because our garage door started opening at 8 am! He hadn’t been able to sleep so had just driven back at dawn. We went to the mall for a coffee later and became fairly excited about prospective new plans which may or may not work. We both felt optimistic (and still do).

In the evening I made dinner but I just had some vegetables. We opened a bottle of Trader Joe wine to celebrate his return and the future. Before I tell you what happened next, I should explain that I have a very low tolerance for most medication and am on a child’s dose of anti-depressant and 3 x a cat’s dosage of anti-anxiety medication. Additionally, I have a low tolerance to alcohol… Since we moved to the States I have got ‘blackout drunk’ about 5 times. It only takes a few glasses of wine and usually a tummy upset. I have a permanent gastric issue from contracted Giardia (an amoeba) in Egypt and it being undiagnosed for 5 years. Thank goodness I have an understanding husband who looks after me.

Anyway, we go to bed and apparently I started to slur my words but instead of blacking out, I first start crying, for half an hour, about how upset I am at some of his mum’s relatives for ignoring her for 4 years in a nursing home. He comforted me although he was dead tired and just wanted to go to sleep. Then I got frisky and offered sexual favors that would make a Thai lady boy blush. Let’s just say that the number 69 came up a few times. Finally, after my predation was rebuffed, I fell into a dead sleep. No throwing up.

When I woke up the next day, I had absolutely no memory of anything after we went to bed, not the crying nor the predation. I could not remember sending emails a short time before we had opened the bottle of wine either. I am just so grateful I didn’t blog later. There might have been some shocked readers. Possibly I was also anxious about my first visit to the eye surgeon on Monday (more of which later) but the funny ending is that now Teddy would quite like to ‘play’ with Bunny but Bunny can’t risk a UTI or the antibiotics before surgery on the 24th. A Happy Valentine’s Day for both of us, eh? 🙂