I can still remember the first moment I saw Toffee, 16 years ago. Her mother, Mrs Stripe, came through the hedge at our villa in Egypt closely followed by two 6 week old kittens, soon to named Toffee and Treacle. Toffee was a dark tabby and Treacle, coal black. I sobbed and laughed because I feared that I had scared Mrs Stripe away forever after trying to trap her. It was almost as though she said, “See, this is why I couldn’t be trapped, I had kittens to wean.”
Toffee was precocious and adorable. There were little dusty footprints all over our walls because she propelled herself with a back legs leap to chase everything from lizards to ping pong balls all over our Cairo house. The stairs were open plan and she would talk to us from the half landing, through the wrought iron banisters, with her head on the side. We called her ‘Little Eee‘ and thought she was the cutest little kitten.
When we arrived in Houston from Cairo, with three wild cats, I can remember the look of joy in Toffee’s eyes. “Mummy and Daddy are here with us!” Of all the cats she settled into our tiny one bedroom apartment with delight after leaving a luxurious four bedroom villa with gardens and staff. Eventually she settled into our forever house. That first Christmas in Houston was magical because we had snow and a ham dinner! Right to the end of her life, Toffee had a fetish for ham. I told her Allah was watching but she paid me no heed. Perhaps she was a pagan or Copt? For the last three years she has been a spoiled ‘only’ cat after the deaths of Mrs Stripe and Zhenny. Katniss joined our household for a short time and Toffee enjoyed their shared solitude.
Toffee had a serious illness at the beginning of this year and the writing was on the wall. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a feral Egyptian cat would live to 16 years old with almost perfect health. After a short but serious illness we made the sad decision to have her put to sleep on Tuesday 20 August 2019. That morning, I gave her an overdose of cat Xanax and Tuna. Her eyes started to dilate then she got the munchies. In between, she kept jumping on the couch to purr and cuddle with her mum and dad, each time stumbling a little more. Then we took her to the vet, feeling no pain. Her death was quick and we took her home for a quiet wake.
I laid her on her Tempur Pedic cushion, wrapped in her shroud and favorite blanket, then cuddled her for most of the day. She was so undomesticated that this was the first time in 16 years that I could hold her to my heart and tell her how much I loved her. Teddy dug a deep grave in our terrible forest soil. The heat index was about 108 degrees. With both people and animals, I can’t bury them until rigor mortis has set in, so Toffee sat in our living room until night fell. On reflection, it would be a tad speedy to bury a human any earlier…(some dark humor there and watch out, Teddy.)
Our hearts are broken, especially knowing that this was the LAST CAT. We cannot endure the worry of who would look after our animals in the event of our deaths, which will be sooner rather than later. I have always had a pet so feel bereft but also feel guilty about enjoying a litter free laundry room and a smell free house. We can go on vacation whenever we want but what we would do for one last cuddle or vocalization. As much as we enjoyed the other 10 pets we have had, Toffee was truly the best cat. Sweet-natured, loving and unique. My health has not been great in 2019 with a sad family funeral in Scotland and now Toffee’s passing. I hope she is enjoying catching neon colored lizards over the rainbow bridge and some kindly angel releases them, as Mummy did so often.
Isn’t there always an anti-climactic reason to laugh? The next day we noticed that an animal had dug up Toffee’s grave but hadn’t got quite deep enough. With a sigh, I put all the soil back and put a board over it, sprinkled with vinegar. That night we set out the camera, baited with an apple. A raccoon and baby possum visited, as did armadillos. We couldn’t get the armadillos on camera but turn the sound up to enjoy the summer cacophony that we attempt to sleep through. The most raucous noise is the frogs and the high chirrups are the armadillos. The baby possum has the starring role.
At least we will never be alone…
What a lovely story – and so beautifully written! So sorry for your loss, my friend, it’s not easy to say goodbye to your beloved pet. My heart goes out to you xxx
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Thank you so much.
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It’s always hard to have to let an beloved animal go. My thought are with you.
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Thank you so much, Pit.
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My deepest condolences, Kerry. Losing a furry companion resonates deeply with me. You have her the most precious gift – love without limits.
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Gave, not have.
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Thank you so much, Rob. K x
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Toffee had a wonderful life with you and you will miss her so much! I think you need a kitten………
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Thank you so much, Liben. We have a baby possum…
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Just hugs, and loving purrs from my Jack and Olive.
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Thank you so much, for the purrs especially. K x
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I’m so sorry for your loss- chad
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Thank you very much, Chad.
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Kerry I’m so sorry about the loss of Toffee. I know it’s very difficult when an animal friend leaves you. Your tribute is so beautifully stated and speaks of the great love you experienced with your kitty. Peace and comfort going out to you both.
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Thank you so much, Leah. I know how much your animals are loved by you.
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Huge hugs.. They certainly leave a hole in our lives.. xxxx
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Thank you, Yvonne – it is a big hole. K x
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What a story, very transforming. I literally felt Toffee’s presence as I was reading your blog. Hugs
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Thank you, Anna – I am glad Toffee touched you.
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Kerry…Do sorry to here about the loss of your dear Toffee. So hard to make the decision to let our pets ,(part of our family) to go to “pet” heaven, but you did the right and humane thing and Toffee is grateful to you for that and smiling down upon you!
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Thank you so much for your kindness, Gary.
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Ah, the love was clearly mutual Kerry. My aged mother had cats all her life, but one by one they passed on, usually under the wheels of a vehicle on the nearby main road. She has refused to have another – the parting from yet another would be too much for her. Nice post Kerry.
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Thank you so much, Roy. The parting seems to be worse the older you are. My 90 year old aunt still longs for a cat…
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Sorry for your loss…awwww
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Thank you so much.
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You’re welcome 😊
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I’m so sorry for your loss, Kerry! You certainly took wonderful care of her and gave her a good life. I hope knowing that is a comfort to you.
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Thank you, Ann, it is a comfort but I still grieve.
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These furry animals creep into our hearts. I still miss our little dwarf bunny, Houdini. A real adorable innocent.
best wishes for your health.
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Thank you so much and I am sorry about your bunny. Feeling sad but time will help. K x
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My heart goes out to you, Kerry. Toffee was fortunate to be loved and cared for by you and Teddy. ❤
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Thank you so much, Mags. ❤️❤️
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I feel that same loss. I miss my Vinny still.
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I know you do, John, thank you.
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So sorry for your lost dear Friend! When you first told me & didn’t imagine that you went through this in that way. Keep being an amazing Human ❤
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Thank you so much, my dear friend. My heart is sad.
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Oh Kerry, so sorry to hear about Toffee. I missed this post when we were travelling in central Australia. Amazing how Egyptian cats can creep into our lives. Glad you were able to finally have a cuddle. Sending hugs to you.
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Thank you so much, Peggy. I am still sad, feeling a little low but on right road. Looking forward to catching up with your posts. Kx
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This was difficult for me to read, I have 2 cats I’ve had for 10 years now. I spoil them and they have a routine that I’m sure no one else would take the time to do. You see I’m 80 years old in poor health and I want my family to put them down when I die….they won’t.
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Cats are remarkably adaptable. One of our Egyptian cats was an older shelter cat whose human mom had to leave when moving to Korea. She had another 11 years with us and I kept regular contact with her previous Mom who was delighted. There are so many wonderful cat parents out there and I think you might outlive your kitties – 80 years young! My aunt just turned 90, gadding about between Ireland and Scotland. ❤️
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P.S. I hope your doing well and keeping you spirits up as best as possible. =^..^=
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I have to admit to struggling with the quiet house but I live in a forested community with many little friends to look at. Thank you again for your kindness.
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Preciosa historia!!🌹
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Muchas Gracias!
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Rear in peace
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Thank you so much.
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This is so sad. Cats don’t live as long as we do. If they did, some of them will outlive their owners and find themselves on the streets, without food and medical care.
The four cats I have now might be my last, too. I’m 53, and the cats are around five years old. If they live another fifteen years, which can happen, I’ll be 63. So, if I get a cat at 63, and that cat will live twenty years, I don’t know if I will be around before its death.
I know what it’s like to lose a pet. All pets’ owners go through this horror. Heartbreaking.
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Thank you so much for your comment. Slowly we are beginning to get accustomed to Toffee’s absence and feel happy about our choice not to have any more animals. We have no children or family for thousands of miles. Enjoy your little kitties – 5 years is a really fun age for cats! 😻
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She truly was a beautiful cat — they are indeed very beautiful animals. Too many times I have known the great pain of losing such a pet feline, of all ages.
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We still miss her terribly, perhaps because she was the last. I am currently training my squirrels and blue jays in return for peanuts. They are both remarkably social!
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