Mexican Naval Eye Candy
Well, I have met some handsome naval guys during my life but this gorgeous specimen
took my breath away caught my eye. Can you hear the low cougar purr as I admired this young cub? He was standing outside the Naval Museum in Puerto Vallarta to draw in cougars, kittens and the large gay population of the town. Well, I assume that… Just like my mum would, I went straight up to him and starting talking to him. My mum, who had a thing for Hispanic men, would have fainted. He was charming, articulate with perfect English. He told me all about the museum but I wasn’t really listening.
Eventually, I did go into the Museo Histórico Naval de Puerto Vallarta (The Naval Museum) and what a revelation it was. It was small but beautifully created. The naval history of Mexico was quite fascinating from Conquistadors to current life. All the staff was enlisted naval personnel and it struck me that this was an excellent job in an area that had limited opportunities for young people. It was situated right on the promenade so you couldn’t miss it.
Stained glass ship
The piece de resistance was this amazing stained glass artifact in the coffee shop. What I couldn’t photograph was the light display on the ceiling which was a constellation. Wow! The coffee was also the best I had tasted in Puerto Vallarta. I was curious as to why it wasn’t busier but not all the naval staff had much English. How hard is it to ask for “Un cafe latte, por favor?” It amazes me that English speaking tourists travel all over the world without even a phrase book. On occasion I have had to resort to clucking like a chicken in restaurants but at least I try…🐔
As I sat in this beautiful coffee shop, looking at the sea, I pondered my Mexican ancestors and hoped that they were proud that their ‘grand-daughter’ was determined to visit one of my homelands and understand how amazing they were. I also realized how lucky I was to have the ability to travel the world.
When my husband, Teddy, sent me an email from Oklahoma with a photo of a handwritten note, I thought, ‘here we go, he has been pretending to be Sean Connery again’. The lovely server had asked him about his rings. He has a large silver and turquoise ring and a Celtic gold one. No doubt he had a few refreshments by then but showed her my photograph, explained that I was part native and that we were married for 35 years.
The silver ring was just a lucky gift when we were browsing a shop selling Native American goods in Rice Village, Houston. Some very rich guy had ordered a custom made silver and turquoise for his larger than average fingers. After trying it one, he decided he wanted something even more ostentatious. The original ring was being sold cheap until another werewolf popped in. Teddy’s has big hands but also large knuckles from arthritis that started in his 30’s. (Rather suspiciously he is growing werewolf hair on his shoulders…)
The gold ring was his 40th birthday present from me. By that stage he had two wedding rings because of the increasing knuckle size. I took those plus some of his granny’s rings to a goldsmith and chose a Celtic interwoven pattern from a book of sketches. He loved it! As time went by the knuckles became more inflamed and it didn’t fit again. About two years ago we took a chance with a local jeweler who increased it by expanding the pattern with more gold. It was fantastic!
We were not fortunate enough to spawn although we always wondered about creating some crazy mutant werewolf…🐺 He is still in Oklahoma for Father’s Day but there was a card in his suitcase signed by Toffee, our cat, Katniss and her new kitten (that’s another story), the armadillos, the possums, the skunks, the raccoons and cicadas. Teddy has been a fabulous Daddy to all our pussycats and clearly he would have made a lovely grandfather…
Love Nana Bunny
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!!!
I know; I know – Kerry is turning into a grumpy old lady even with the addition of estrogen… Yesterday, I flipped. We live in an affluent area but it’s fairly divided from rented apartments to multi-million dollar homes just ½ mile from each other. We live in a hidden cul-de-sac at the bottom of a road coming from a rich gated community. Despite it being a 35 mile per hour limit, entitled car owners flash down making it difficult for us to see if the road is clear. What’s worse is that there are many pedestrians and children.
Yesterday, I turned right out of my subdivision only to see a brand new Maserati in my rear mirror having to really put the brakes on behind me and we were approaching a 4 way stop. Something snapped in my brain… I slowed dramatically (he was still inches behind me), then I wiggled the car and put the flashers on. Once I had gotten through the 4 way stop, I wound down my window so I could give the driver a verbal row. He or she went off like a bat out of hell – to get away from the very scary lady with a crazy cat lady sticker on the rear bumper. I just knew it was a graduate with their new car. Yes, that is how rich our neighbors are.
Why on earth do parents buy their graduates (school not college) a high powered car that just begs to be driven badly by a teenage brain that is not fully developed? I learned to drive when I was 45 in the US and my husband very sensibly bought me an old Buick that the last elderly owner had scraped along the side of the garage. First thing I did was knock the mirror off – that was fixed with duct tape. New drivers will always make mistakes and old Buicks were incredibly big (hardly fitted in the garage).
One of my colleagues told me that she was paying the new truck payment for her 30 year old son (who was still living at home).
• Why is he living at home?
• Why doesn’t he have an old Buick or Ford truck (like the Mexican gardeners have)?
I would suggest public transport but it is very limited in this oil town. Parents aren’t doing their kids any favors by spoiling them. By age 24, my husband was married with a job, a mortgage and a very old Audi only earning £4000 pa. We had no debt. I thought my husband was spoiled and insisted we pay back money that his parents would give us to help us out. We got it all in the end and looked after them as they aged.
Then there is the Mall… It is a no-go area until they go back to school or college in August. They are going to be parking their Maserati/Audi/Mini’s badly despite massive parking spaces. The girls will be gathering in flocks of screeching teenagers taking over the whole of Sephora (a beauty shop) or Starbucks! What is it with the coffee shops – where do they get the money for lattes?? They should be doing work in the summer – all the jobs that we hated. I worked in the kitchens of an old Victorian hospital where the cockroaches were bigger than gerbils. One of the massive predators scuttled out of the sink I was washing dishes in and I dropped about 20 plates…
That feels much better. Thank you for listening to my old lady rant. Eventually I will adjust to a hormone filled steamy summer and might even be nice to them at the airport…when they leave their phones in the restroom, lose their Miss Kitty backpack and forget to bring their passport. 😀😁
By the way, Happy Graduation!
Teddy and Bunny
Teddy and I took an olde worlde selfie last week with the timer on a camera. My girlfriends in Scotland had met up last weekend and had sent photos of them enjoying themselves. There were a few ‘refreshments’ imbibed… With my recent ill health I had been reluctant to take selfies. My body dysmorphia has been worse of late and when I look in the mirror I see the older version of Charlize Theron in the movie Snow White and the Huntsman.
Teddy is also unable to see what an attractive man he is – who does not look like he has just turned 59 years old (I will be 57 in a few months). We met when I was 21 and I was astonished that he had not dated half of Glasgow. Even his aunt thought he was gay! Had I not predated him, I doubt we would be married for 35 years. I thought he was cool and uninterested but he thought he had met the girl of his dreams. We were engaged within 3 months and married after 11 months leading to family theories of pregnancy. I have still to whelp…🐕🐶🐕
He is definitely looking younger of late however and I have a theory about that. From our mid 50s we have been having a wonderful time, both relaxed at work and travelling the world together. Then the oil slump came and life changed dramatically. We both have new jobs that can be stressful with horrible commutes. We are working in more challenging environments using different skillsets, with new colleagues. As difficult as that has been, the silver lining is that we both look a little younger than our real ages. We try to make life at home as stress free as possible and rarely socialize with other people. Time is too precious to spend with anyone else but each other.
The icing on the cake is that Teddy won an award at the Offshore Technology Conference (Oil) for his part in writing a paper whilst working at the company that laid him off. Isn’t life ironic? More fool them. I get stressed when I am working events but funny moments make it all worthwhile. When waiting for some guests the other day, I was sitting with a lovely young colleague chatting. A Ukrainian limo driver was really staring at me and eventually he said, “I know you”. I responded that he probably knew me from the airport. No, he insisted that I looked really like someone from the old country. He moved the other side but kept staring at ‘those eyes’. I burst out laughing and said, “Would you like a photograph?” Later that day a Lebanese silver fox told me that he and his wife were like sister and brother. Uh oh – time to stop flirting!!
The night the photograph was taken we went out for an ‘early bird supper’ and I was concerned that last year’s dress from Ross was too short. You can see how it rides up in the photograph. We popped into Walgreens on the way back and both of the beauty assistants told me how lovely I looked. It was the perfect end to a lovely evening out with my honey.
He had a six pack…
My lovely husband is 59 39 today… The handsome blondish guy above is a photo of him in Norway when he was really younger than 39. What a looker! He deserves to be spoiled on his birthday for so many reasons but #1 is that he loved his nutty mother in law. We came as a package, as I was her long distance caretaker. Her mental illness made her behave very strangely at times. She would beg us to visit but then be overwhelmed by day 2 or 3. To illustrate this she would take all the sofa cushions off, leaving us to sit on the hard base. It drove my aunt and me to distraction but Teddy just put them back on the sofa and pretended nothing had happened. When she was well, she was absolutely hilarious, full of fun and laughing at both ends. I have inherited that charming and yet unique trait, along with her looks, her mental illness and a good sense of humor (just as well, really…)
I love Teddy for the following reasons –
- He loves me (Bunny) despite the mental illness, dodgy hoo-ha and lack of estrogen
- He makes me laugh; really laugh. We were a great double act at the bank last weekend. Teddy has a stronger Scottish accent than me and the teller was having some difficulty with the glass and his lack of enunciation so I kept translating. I told the bank teller that I was a translator for the mentally disabled. She fell about laughing.
- He goes to work to provide for me (mostly healthcare but I like to eat sometimes) and he always has. At least I am a skinflint…
- He smells amazing. Teddy has a penchant for expensive scent and our current favorite is Luna Rossa. His natural body smell is lovely too and the late Mrs. Stripe used to suck his used underwear (like a Tom Jones fan). I don’t go quite that far but I do like a whiff of male sweat.
- There is always some lady with a crush on him but he seems to prefer blonde with a touch of crazy.
- He loves cats (perhaps that should have been #1). Our feral cat, Katniss, has decided that she will wait for ‘Dad’ to come home to feed her. Ungrateful little slut!
- He cries when he watches soppy movies like Despicable Me and insists that we buy the first soft toy that we handled in case it feels neglected (WTF?). He bought my mum teddies from all over the world including the cutest little Harrods teddy with an Aran sweater. I still have the damn things in the attic because she made me swear never to get rid of them. In case you are reading this, Mum, they are all happy together with enough room to breathe…
- When he is drunk, he writes me beautiful little love notes that I keep in my lingerie drawer. The term ‘lingerie’ is pushing it.
- He loves me despite my unsexy, holey knickers…
- He thinks I have a great figure but his eyesight isn’t so good.
A tip for older single ladies – date the silver foxes. They will see you through an elderly, rose tinted mist.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEDDY!
Teddy and Bunny in Fredericksburg a few years ago
This post is a bit all over the place but let’s begin. I went for a mammogram last week at the insistence of my new gynecologist who is determined to sort out my dodgy hoo-ha. He has suggested that I take a genetic test to see what cancers might lurk in my future – not as much fun as the Ancestry genetic test. He has put me on estrogen – top and bottom. Y’alls know I live in Texas, the land of strange modesty, and when you go for a mammogram, the female nurses delicately slip off part of your robe and pull out each boob. This time I said, “Look, I was brought up in Europe. If you don’t mind I am just going to take off the robe and stand in my knickers”. She laughed and said that in Sweden women just sit in the waiting room breasts akimbo.
She asked me why I was having a mammogram and said I was a little anxious about HRT. Turned out she is on the same treatment as me and she told me that 98% of women, diagnosed with breast cancers, had not been on HRT. That said, however, I bet many of them had been on the contraceptive pill. Then she asked me about my ethnicity and was a tad surprised about the Native, North African and other exotic parts of my DNA. She noted that I was slim and my skin was in good condition. In her opinion, people’s eating habits in America had much to do with their health and I have to agree. It shocks me to see queues of rich people waiting at McDonalds for their lunch (they have a choice). I would no more eat a fast food burger than fly to the moon. I do eat processed food from time to time but try to lean towards clean and organic food. Perhaps there is a tad too much vodka in my life…I’m not perfect!
So…on Saturday I went out early to take some of my fancy dresses to a resale shop. They only wanted one of them and gave me $4.55 for a dress worth close to $100. On the way home I gave most of it to the fireman with the charity boot – what a waste of time but he was a handsome guy! I called Teddy to ask him to get washed and dressed so that we could go out for lunch. When I got home he was still in his pajamas. Normally this would raise merry hell but the HRT has a curious calming effect. FINALLY, after many baleful looks, we got on the road. We went to a local foodie place that served a perfect lunch. I had a delightful glass of Albarino from Spain – just faintly pink and dry, followed by a miniature appetizer. It was four little chickpea fritters with two delicious salsas. You could taste each individual flavor. Teddy had a crab and avocado sandwich with micro cilantro (weird but lovely). To finish we each had one scoop of yummy ice cream about the size of an egg. That is a perfect portion for lunch unless you are a marathon runner.
I have a love/hate relationship with my cell phone and it drives Teddy crazy that I don’t answer his texts (all the more reason not to…) He asked me if I had seen his text. No, was the obvious answer but I got out my phone and looked at his text. It had been sent from a new ‘dragon?’ app where he just speaks into the phone and it sends the text. I texted, “Good for you, asswipe”, his face was a picture especially when the female computer voice nicely enunciated asswipe. He then spoke into the phone saying, “I am not an asswipe” to which dragon lady responded, “I – am – not –an – asswipe”. By this time I was really laughing but became hysterical when the phone auto-corrected his text to “I am not a Muslim”. My laughter ricocheted from one end of the restaurant to the other. As you know, I am not bigoted but just love those autocorrects. I am just grateful that most people can’t understand our Celtic accents.
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!🐤🐰
PS The mammogram showed that I have benign stuff (that’s a medical term) bilaterally. Don’t you panic when it says anything other than negative?
The HRT is turning me into a snarky teenager…